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Some people think that good health is a basic human need，so medical service should be run by the government instead of profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages?


Good health is of paramount importance for the normal functioning of the human being . It is essentially a basic human need . The national success is gauzed by the health of its people . Hence , Some people believe that the government should run the medical services rather than profit making companies however some refute this . This essay will analyze the demerits of privatization of medical services as this concept leads to polarization of medical services and also dilution in medical expertise .

Firstly , privatization of medical services leads to polarization in society . The rich people can afford the services while the poor sector of society can't because of economical restrain . This would be unfair on the humanitarian ground and will result into lot of social problems. To avoid this , government should spend its maximum GDP on its health care . Take the example of NHS in UK , which is a biggest role model of health services in the world and its running successfully over the years .NHS takes care for everyone irrespective of their economic status . Thus , government should be responsible for medical services rather than profit making organizations .

Secondly , the top priority of private organization is to run hospital business successfully . In order to fulfill their goals , they don't mind to charge exorbitantly to patients . Moreover , it is observed that doctors in private sectors are not competent and experienced enough as compared to public sectors . The profit making companies are least bothered about research and development in medical fields . They tend to focus on pomp and show rather than real medical needs . On the other hand , Public hospitals are more dedicated to health care and research and development.

Following the analyzation of above facts , it is clear that the disadvantages of profit making companies are more as compared to its advantages . Hence replacing public hospitals by private hospitals is not a fancy concept and I assume that government will take concrete steps by contributing more GDP for health services .

Hi Tina,

You are good at sentence structure as well as idea expression. However, I feel you paragraphs are a bit inconsistent and not straight to the point. I think your score fluctuates between 6.5 and 7.0

If you have time, please give your opinion on my essay: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=95

Thanks!

hi Tina,
it might help you but i remember i never ever reached band 7
first of all we are talking about good health so you have to use good health related sentance in many areas.so try to rephrase it well-being,physical fitness,good shape .




Some people think that good health is a basic human need，so medical service should be run by the government instead of profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages?


Good health is of(is of weird paramount importance for the normal functioning of the human being(well-being is the paramount importance for functioning the human body) . It is essentially a basic human need(u r repeating the question (no need). (Throughout the history,)The national success is gauzed by the health of its people . Hence , Some(instead some use many because u r using some in the next line) people believe(argue ) that the government should run(continue) the medical services rather than profit making(yielding) companies however(,) some refute this . This essay will analyze the demerits of privatization of medical services as this concept leads to polarization of medical services and also dilution(???) in medical expertise . dont repeat the question try to reframe it

Firstly , privatization of medical services leads to polarization in society . The rich people can afford the services while the poor sector of society can'tdo not use contraction in essay because of economical restrain . This would be unfair on the humanitarian ground (,)and will result into lot of social problems. To avoid(prevent) this , (the)government should spend(invest) its maximum GDP on its(no need) health care . Take the example of NHS in UKTake NHS in UK,for example.NHS is , which is a biggest role model of health services in the world and its running successfully over the years .NHS takes care for everyone irrespective of their economic status .ur example does not prove its demerits what u said in line1 [privatization of medical services leads to polarization in societycolor] Thus , government should be responsible for medical services rather than profit making organizations .(i am confused)

Secondly , the top priority of private organization is to run hospital business successfully . In order to fulfill their goals , they don't mind to charge exorbitantly to patients . Moreover , it is observed that doctors in private sectors are not competent and experienced enough as compared to public sectors . The profit making companies are least bothered about research and development in medical fields . They tend to focus on pomp and show rather than real medical needs . On the other hand , Public hospitals are more dedicated to health care and research and development. (on the other hand ??? in this paragraph u r discussing private ??? so r u going to other corner)

Following the analyzation of above facts( To recapitulate) , it is clear that the disadvantages of profit making companies are more as compared to its advantages . Hence replacing public hospitals by private hospitals is not a fancy concept and I assume that government will take concrete steps by contributing more GDP for health services .



I think u know many words that is the biggest plus for you and correct grammar


once again i have to warn that i am not a teacher.thanksssss

Thanks a lot Saran and duo , you are of great help .

Saran , fantastic tips . I will try my best . Yes , I am able to imagine now what others are deriving from my paragraph . I think it was very helpful and I will try to incorporate some ideas in future . Infact , I will rewrite the same para .i like the way you kept my moral up that I know enough words . Otherwise you know , I am so depressed after Ryan's scoring and knowing the real face of my English .

hi tina,
thanks.try to reframe the essay and post it here

Tried to reframe essay. please review my essay .

Some people think that good health is a basic human need medical the government instead of profit-making companies should run service.

Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages?


Health and education are basic human rights. It is essential that provision of adequate medical facilities should be available in order to maintain good health. Some people argue that government led public health services should be responsible for medical care rather than profit making private services. This essay will analyze the fact that medical services driven by private sector has potential disadvantages as it leads to polarization of medical services and indulge in unethical medical practices.

Firstly, privatization of medical care leads to polarization of medical services. Only the affluent society will be able to derive its benefits. Poor people will be deprived of basic human right due to non-affordability. This will result in multiple social problem like increase in crime rate.

Secondly, the main motive of profit making companies is to derive profits rather than promoting health delivery system. In order to run their expensive models, they are not even hesitant to do unethical practices . To illustrate this, take an example of increase in the rate of caesarean deliveries rather than normal labor in private set up. It is unethical to do surgical procedures for the cases, where it is actually possible to avoid them. Thus, It is clearly seen from above example that privatization give rise to unethical practices rather than an indicated one.

Following the analyzation of the above facts, it is clear that privatization of medical services carries more disadvantages than its advantages. It is expected that government will spend its maximum GDP on health care services of its country in order to provide health for all.

when the question says do u think disadvantages outweighs advantages ?

Is it necessary to write more disadvantages or we can disagree also ?