please review

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ucheoma
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:50 pm

please review

Post by ucheoma »

Given is a bar graph and a line graph depicting the number of Japanese holiday makers and also how it affects Australia in one decade.

Overall, it is clear that the number of vacationist from japan as well as the number of Japanese tourist to Australia followed a linear trend.

To begin with, 1985, 1986 and 1987 saw the number of tourist increase from about 5,almost 6 and 7 million respectively. The figure stood at approximately 9 million and 10 million in the year 1988 and 1989,almost doubling the figures for 1985.Similarly, there was also an increase of about 11 million for 1990.However there was a slight drop in 1991 with a recover of the increment for 1992 and 1993,both standing at approximately 12 million.1994 recorded about 13 million and then a peak of about 15 million recorded in 1995.

Turning to how this migration affected Australia, 1985 recorded 2% of Japanese coming into Australia with the figures doubling in 1987.In 1988,about 5% of immigrants was recorded but this figure dropped back to about 4 percent in 1989,rising again and equaling the figure for 1988.The record kept increasing up to more than 6% in 1993 and returned to 6% in 1994.It worthy to note that no figure was recorded for 1995
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: please review

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Very good apart from the VERY important fact that you have not given a clear overview of the trends! "Followed a linear trend" is insufficient.

All the best,
David
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