KINDLY GIVE YOUR COMMENTS. I'M WORKING ON WRITING BAND 7

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juniedang
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Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2016 11:48 pm

KINDLY GIVE YOUR COMMENTS. I'M WORKING ON WRITING BAND 7

Post by juniedang »

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


It has become a common pattern that successful sports professionals are paid a fortune compared to other professions. Public opinions have polarized on this fact. Adherents believe high income is justified for unique sports talents while opponents contend other important careers have also contributed well to society, hence deserving similar range of income. Both sides prove their arguments reasonable, but supportive opinions to this pattern appear to be more convincing.

Those who argue against this fact state that other significant professions such as scientists and doctors are more plausibly justified for high income. They believe that to be qualified as a scientist or a doctor, each individual has made great attempt and themselves possess valuable talent. In addition, their jobs seem to contribute more to the well-being of society. The opponents claim that the globe could hardly evolve to nowadays level of modernity without the devotion of scientists and doctors. Hence, there exists any profession that deserves high income, doctors and scientists should be considered first.

In sharp contrast, adherents for the fact argue that talent among sports profession appears to be more unique and the number of successful ones in this career is limited. They state that not all sports athletes are well paid but only those who have attained such impressive achievements. These limited sports talents have greater social media influence than scientists and doctors. Many companies are willing to hire them to become their product representative. This helps the companies to earn enormous profit and the sports talents also receive a fortune payment in return. Moreover, sports professionals can only perform well in a short period of time rather than a whole life length as other careers. Therefore, they deserve higher income during this period to compensate for when they cease their career path.

In conclusion, both supporters and opponents assert strongly convincing arguments on the high payment to successful sports athletes. However, to a certain extent it appears that supportive opinions are more persuasive and sports talents are justified for they fortune they are earning.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: KINDLY GIVE YOUR COMMENTS. I'M WORKING ON WRITING BAND 7

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, a good essay, with clear points and development. Some grammar and vocab mistakes, but they do not affect meaning substantially.

Well done!
David
NewAgeEnglish
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:45 am

Re: KINDLY GIVE YOUR COMMENTS. I'M WORKING ON WRITING BAND 7

Post by NewAgeEnglish »

Sorry, to assert personal opinion here, but I really like your writing. The ideas are so well organized, and the argument makes great sense. It is amazing how you did it. Very good essay indeed. Thumb up times 3!
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