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This is my first post on any online forum. i have my Ielts exam on 23 January.My aim is 7.5 bands in writing.

Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2016 1:30 pm
by Dr.Khurram
Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent you agree?

Each year international sports events held through out the world.Through out the history it can be seen that they bring together people belonging from different cultures and regions. I certainly agree that these sports events such as football world cup and cricket tournaments not only helps in improving international relationships between different countries but also help people in expressing devotion to their country and promote nationalism.

Generally in every geographical regions there are few nations that have disputes and they don't enjoy good diplomatic relations. Undoubtedly these sports competitions bring close together inhabitants of these countries. They get know positive aspects of each others that are mostly concealed by their government and media. For Instance India and Pakistan have tremendous diplomatic differences and also fought three wars but despite of this when international cricket series held each year it brings both nations close to each others. They support their favorite players and team irrespective of their nationality. And this type of sport events proved enormously beneficial in easing tension between two countries in last few decades.

Moreover these international events attract tourists from all over the world, which not only bring enormous revenue to hosting country but at the same time allow locals to learn from people of different cultural backgrounds. It also alleviate hostility between people belonging from different countries.Furthermore when people support their teams it rises their patriotic emotions and bring them together as a nation.

To sum up, international sport events such as Olympics and Fifa world cups are not only very beneficial for boosting international relations but also liberate patriotic feelings.

Re: This is my first post on any online forum. i have my Ielts exam on 23 January.My aim is 7.5 bands in writing.

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2016 9:23 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Welcome to the forum. Let's look at your essay.

Introduction - Good!

First main paragraph - Good!

Second main paragraph - I think that a little more development would be good. Perhaps you could explain how tourism reduces tensions.

Overall, quite good, but I think that you have failed to even consider the opposing argument. The India-Pakistan example seems nice, but those two countries are still close to war. How about the attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team in Pakistan in 2009? What about football violence? Sport seems to be doing little to reduce tensions.

All the best,
David

Re: This is my first post on any online forum. i have my Ielts exam on 23 January.My aim is 7.5 bands in writing.

Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 8:08 pm
by monir301
Hi,

You have mentioned some important issues. Along with, the opposite arguments.

Really you are a good advisor.


With Best Wishes

Monir