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1. Please notify me about my grammatical mistake too. I use grammarly.com to get my mistake checked on writing. It is an artificially intelligent web server that check grammatical mistake on writing. It just notify the mistake and do not correct automatically as I'm a free user. I have been using it for my writing. In this writing it notifies 16 mistakes, most of these are word choice, wordiness and punctuation except three mistakes on passive voice use but that seems to me correct. Please let me know about my those mistakes. I have bolded those line.

2. and inform me about my proposition uses. Am I using it correctly and where can it improve.

3. Also, kindly let me know my progress. I tried to avoid mistakes that you told me. Here is the link of my previous essay. http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?t=8373

An increasing number of people are choosing to see doctors online instead of hospitals. do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Appointment with doctors using internet media has been rising in recent times as it has become an easiest and quickest way to see a doctor despite having the chance to go to a medical center. Though this method has some limitations but I think benefits of seeing doctors online outweigh its drawbacks.

Telemedicine or online medical consultancy (service) is almost always a convenient way of seeing a doctor for public. First of all, using online medical services patients or somebody who need health information can get a doctor appointment almost quickly in their convenient time from their home by some clicking on a mouse or by a phone call. Where, for the same medical help, if I take my country’s example when someone wish to go to a medical clinic or doctor’s chamber to see a doctor he or she often has to have an appointment date of meeting with a doctor. In their appointment day, patients have to wait for several hours to get their serial of entering into the doctor’s room. By considering above sentences, it is clear that going hospital is almost troublesome and time-consuming in compare to seeing doctors online.

In addition to this, online telemedicine service can greatly help the underprivileged people of rural areas, where certified physician are not always available. In Bangladesh, for example, almost no specialized physician position is available in village medical center, but a post of MBBS doctor is allocated for a vast majority of people in a sub-division. And doctors are usually unwilling to stay longer at rural area, therefore, their post usually becomes empty after certain months of their allocation. As a result, village people are usually deprived of getting better, sometimes minimum, medical facilities what their urban counterpart get.

On the other hand, consulting with doctors virtually has some weaknesses too. Firstly, in certain medical checkup doctors need to examine the patient by their own hand, which is certainly not possible in the telemedicine system. And also, some medical tests like listening heart sound, blood test, x-ray, ECG etc. are yet to possible by the internet based medical support system. But these all are considered as a technical challenge and as technological development is progressing, we can hope that these challenges will be solved very soon. Next, there could be raised a question about the authenticity of online doctors and agencies is whether the online doctors are certified or fake. But strict government monitoring and licensing over these service agencies could resolve this problem.

In conclusion, taking service from the online doctor is always a convenient and fastest way of getting basic health care support instead of going to the hospital. In my observation, it is obviously a positive development though it has some capabilities.

If I saw this in an actual IELTS test I would be a little surprised. You write 458 words. To do that in 40 minutes you would be writing very quickly. Did this answer take you only 40 minutes?

In terms of task response, (if completed in 40 minutes) the answer is very good, and in effect complete. Nothing more could reasonably be added in the time you have. On the public band descriptors
http://www.ielts.org/pdf/Writing%20Band ... sk%202.pdf
the words "fully addresses all parts of the task" fit here. Your position is fully developed, relevant and well supported.

For coherence and cohesion, the descriptor that fits best is logically organised and clear progression with a range of cohesive devices. There are also some inaccurate linking words and phrases that keep you from the next level. Some of these errors are also associated with word usage or grammar. For example
“By considering above sentences, it is clear that going (to) hospital is almost troublesome and time-consuming in compare to seeing doctors online”
This sentence contains several errors that affect cohesion, lexical resources and grammar; “sentences” is the wrong word. You are not considering the sentences but the ideas. The proper introductory phrase is “In consideration of the above ideas”. Something can’t be “almost” troublesome; either it is or it isn’t. The same applies to “almost quickly”; “in compare to” should be “in comparison with”.


Lexical resources, as already noted, lets you down. The band descriptor here would be “attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy”
Examples: In the first paragraph, you say “appointments” when of course, you mean “consultations”.

I have fully corrected the first paragraph as a general example.

Consultations with doctors using internet media have been rising in recent times as this has become the easiest and quickest way to see a doctor even when there is easy access to a medical center. Though this method has some limitations, I think the benefits of seeing doctors online outweigh the drawbacks.

You see here examples of errors that affect all four band criteria.

Grammar is also a problem. You have a good range of sentences, from complex to simple but many errors. These do not affect understanding however. The band descriptor is: “uses a mix of simple and complex forms; makes some errors in grammar and punctuation”

If you check the public band descriptors I provided, you will see what your band would be.