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PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - HIGH PAYING ATHLETES

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 2:14 pm
by hollanda
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that successful sportsmen are paid a fortune as salary compared to workers in other key occupations. While some believe that this is completely plausible, I would argue for the opposite that this treatment is unreasonable.

On the one hand, sports professionals should be entitled to a great deal of money for several reasons. Firstly, it is undoubtedly true that daily training and practicing for competitions are intensively heavy and demanding, which requires hard work, determination and consistence. Therefore, sportsmen may be stimulated to try their best if an award or a high salary is offered to them ahead. This also allows them to enhance their working performance. Secondly, the lifespan of sports career is usually short. Due to the physical attribute, athletes are commonly seen to retire at their forties or even thirties, which is at the very beginning stage compared to other careers. Thus, a high rewarding perk is highly essential to secure them a sustainable life later on.

Nevertheless, I incline towards the view that it is unfair to treat high achievers in sports activities more favourable than other important professions for various reasons. Considering money as a chief motivator, some sportsmen can become materialistic. Take Lance Armstrong, one of the most famous racing cyclists, who consecutively won the champions in Tour de France as an example. However, he was later accused of illegally using dope, a motivating drug, in order to help him win the prizes. This means that money and prizes can lead to the deterioration of sports spirit. Furthermore, in comparison with other jobs such as doctor or teacher, sportspeople might seem to contribute very little to the development of the society. If we did not watch sports games, we still could lead a happy and healthy life. Nonetheless, if we did not have the treatments from doctors or chances to go to schools, lives would be unimaginable.

In conclusion, although many people advocate the option of high paying for sportsmen, I am convinced that this treatment is unfair for the aforementioned reasons.

Re: PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - HIGH PAYING ATHLETES

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:42 pm
by Evgenii Rodin
The structure of your essay could be better. Have you ever seen good discursive essays? http://ieltsielts.com/model-response-to ... july-2014/

Re: PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - HIGH PAYING ATHLETES

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:56 pm
by Flick
hollanda wrote:Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that successful sportsmen are paid a fortune compared to workers in other occupations. While some believe that this is completely fair, I would argue for the opposite; that this treatment is unreasonable.

On the one hand, sports professionals should be entitled to a great deal of money for several reasons. Firstly, it is undoubtedly true that daily training and practicing for competitions are intensively heavy and demanding, which requires hard work, determination and consistency. Therefore, sportsmen may be motivated to try their best if a reward or a high salary is offered to them. This also allows them to improve their working performance. Secondly, the lifespan of a sports career is usually short. Due to the physical demands, athletes are commonly seen to retire in their forties or even thirties, which is at the very beginning stage compared to other careers. Thus, a high paying perk is essential to secure them a sustainable life later on.

Nevertheless, I incline towards the view that it is unfair to treat high achievers in sports activities more favourably than other important professions for various reasons. Considering money as a chief motivator, some sportsmen can become materialistic. Take Lance Armstrong, a famous racing cyclist, who consecutively won the Tour de France as an example. However, he was later accused of illegal doping, using a motivating drug, in order to help him win. This shows that money and prizes can lead to the deterioration of the sporting spirit. Furthermore, in comparison with other jobs such as doctors or teachers, sportspeople might seem to contribute very little to the development of society. If we did not watch sports games, we still could lead a happy and healthy life. Nonetheless, if we did not receive treatments from doctors or education from teachers, life would be unimaginable.

In conclusion, although many people advocate the option of high salaries for sportsmen, I am convinced that this treatment is unfair for the aforementioned reasons.