PLEASE kindly asses my writing task 2 and give me some special advice for writing speed

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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shoxruh
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2015 6:32 am

PLEASE kindly asses my writing task 2 and give me some special advice for writing speed

Post by shoxruh »

Nowadays the youth do not show respect elder member of society. What can we do about it ?

In the modern world, elderly people are seen at the first stage of honour in our country despite the fact that they are not being respected by young people. Is it difficult to pay more attention to old member of society? In this essay, I will attempt to state couple of my humble views.

First of all, it would be great if we give a hand elders in social places. Markets is worth example to prove my point. We often see older people who purchase something with heavy packages in their hands. Meanwhile, do we ever think about lifting their luggage ? certainly, we should help them in this situation. By the way, we should also give a seat them on tram or bus. Finally, we should show respect elders by being helpful everywhere.

Secondly, we should help old individuals to get order as quick as we can in order to be treated in local hospitals. The order can help the elderly to be treated free in hospitals in our county. Therefore, waiting turn is problem among older people. Because the orders are dealt once a month by the government. Unfortunately, elders wait several hours in order to receive order. It is not appropriate for vulnerable people who is over fifty. We should get order on behalf of them. Lastly, I feel it will be immense support that would be done for them.

To sum up, I consider that our duty is helping elder members of society. We should take care of them as much as we can. What is obstacle to show respect and help them? Let us strat to help them…
Evgenii Rodin
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2015 6:54 am

Re: PLEASE kindly asses my writing task 2 and give me some special advice for writing speed

Post by Evgenii Rodin »

I would reduce the number of personal pronuns considerably. It is also advisable to avoid questions in the essay itself. Your style is inappropriate: sometimes too humble, sometimes too colloquial.
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