Task2 - Please kindly to assess my writing. thank you

[Xianz]

Consumption of the world’s resources (such as oil, fresh water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are these causes of the increased consumption? What can people do to reduce it?

The world’s resources is divided into two categories which are inexhaustible (the resource will not run out in foreseeable future) and exhaustible (the resource has a limited quantity). Nowadays, the depletion of the nature’s resources like oil and fresh water has increased until dangerous rate. In this essay, I will state out some of the causes of the over-consumption and how people can contribute to reduce the over-consumption of the nature’s resources.

To begin, the main reason of increasing usage in world’s resources is the number of population. In general, the region with the higher population will use up more of the world’s resources. For example, oil is the main resources that are being used in the industrial sector and also our daily life such as transportation. Another reason is people are lack of awareness about limit of the exhaustible resources surrounding them. For example, for the nature to produce oil, it takes about hundreds of thousands years. But people just keep taking the oil without giving time to the nature to reproduce. It will cause the exhaustible resources completely disappear.

Some actions are need to be taken with the people cooperation for preventing these issue keep going on. First of all, they need to find an alternative resources. For example, these days, people are using solar energy or wind energy to be the electricity supply. Plant derived are being used to substitute gasoline for vehicle. Besides that, people also need to save the resources in many ways. For instance, turn off the electronic devices after usage.

In conclusion, I believe that we can overcome the depletion of nature’s resources by start using the alternative resources. However, the government also need to control the number of the population by creating a birth control policy. To overcome this issue is not easy and take certain period of time. However, we will be able to see the result in the future.

[sebastian]

Well... there are quite a few mistakes. Don't give up and keep practising, but keep those aspects in mind:

The world’s resources is divided...

oil is the main resources that are being used

with the people cooperation for preventing these issue keep going on.

the government also need to control

To overcome this issue is not easy and take certain period of time.

Plural vs singular.

Nowadays, the depletion of the nature’s resources

I will state out some of the causes of the over-consumption

and how people can contribute to reduce the over-consumption of the nature’s resources.

for the nature to produce oil,

time to the nature to reproduce.

Extra article. Some languages do use an article for those cases, but English doesn't.

like oil and fresh water has increased until dangerous rate.

is the number of population.

people are lack of awareness

Some actions are need to be taken

by start using the alternative resources.

I can sort of guess what you mean via context, but it's still quite unclear.

it takes about hundreds of thousands years.

Double generalisation. 'It takes about four hundred thousand years' (just to say a random figure) would work better, as would 'it takes hundreds of thousands of years.' Basically, the structure can be ['it takes about' + exact/precise figure] or ['it takes' + approximate figure], but not a mixture of both.

It will cause the exhaustible resources ^^^ completely disappear.

Plant derived ^^^ are being used to substitute gasoline for vehicle.

Missing word.

[Xianz]

Thank you for your feedback..

Is it possible for u to tell me what should i fill in for the missing word parts ?

[sebastian]

It'd be 'to' and 'products', respectively

[Flick]

Consumption of the world’s resources (such as oil, fresh water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are these causes of the increased consumption? What can people do to reduce it?

The world’s resources are divided into two categories which are: inexhaustible (the resource will not run out in the foreseeable future) and exhaustible (the resource has a limited quantity). Nowadays, the depletion of nature’s resources like oil and fresh water has increased at a dangerous rate. In this essay, I will state some of the causes of this over-consumption and how people can contribute to reduce the overuse of nature’s resources.

To begin, the main reason for the increase in use of the world’s resources is population. In general, the region with the higher population will use up more of the world’s resources. For example, oil is the main resource that is being used in the industrial sector and also in our daily life such as transportation. Another reason is people lack awareness of the exhaustible resources surrounding them. For example, for nature to produce oil, it takes hundreds of thousands of years. But people just keep taking the oil without giving nature time to replenish it. This will cause the exhaustible resources to completely disappear.

Some actions need to be taken to prevent these issues from getting worse. First of all, we need to find alternative resources. For example, these days, people are using solar energy or wind energy to create electricity. Plant-derived substitutes are being used instead of petrol for vehicles. Besides that, people also need to save resources in other ways. For instance, by turning off electronic devices after use.

In conclusion, I believe that we can overcome the depletion of nature’s resources by using alternative resources. However, the government also needs to control population size by creating a birth control policy. To overcome this issue is not easy and will take time. However, we will be able to see the results in the future.