Many people are moving towards using debit cards (collectively called electronic fund transfer system or EFT) instead of the bank notes to pay for things. Carrying money electronically has more benefits than carrying money as bank notes.
Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is believed that all people should own a debit or credit card along with them and they prefer to bring the cards along with them instead of carrying notes. In this essay, I am party agree about this statement.
First of all, I think that it is more efficient to carry card instead of cash, especially when you purchase something expensive. If not, you are going to bring a bunch of money with you, which it might attract bad people to steal it from you. However, it is better that we still carry some cash with us. As not all places accept payment using electronic card. For example, the small shops, night markets and hawkers centers. Although it is effective to have electronic card, we need to be aware while doing the payment especially online payment. It is believed that some hackers try to hack other people’s card and steal all the money remain in the card.
On the other hand, by having an electronic card, if you lose your wallet, the person who get the wallet are unable to get your money as long as they do not have your Personal Identification Number (PIN). However, for safety reason, once we lost the any of the debit or credit cards, we must immediately call the bank to ask them to cancel the cards.
In conclusion, I believe that having a debit or credit cards has numerous of beneficial. It is safe as long as the other person do not know the PIN but, we still need to be aware. However, I think it is also good to have some cash along with us. Just in case there is an emergency.
Please help me to review and give me comment about this writing. Thank you
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please help me to review and give me comment about this writing. Thank you
Hello again!
Introduction - 'It is believed ...' Who by? Otherwise quite good. Grammar : 'I partly agree ...'
First main paragraph - Good. 'It is believed that ...' Why is it only 'believed'? It's a fact, not an opinion!
Second main paragraph - Good, but notice the large difference in size between this and the preceding paragraph. Keeping main paragraphs roughly the same length is a good tip!
Conclusion - Good. Grammar: numerous benefits
Overall a good essay, though I think that some more development of ideas or another paragraph on another idea would be a simple improvement.
All the best,
David
Introduction - 'It is believed ...' Who by? Otherwise quite good. Grammar : 'I partly agree ...'
First main paragraph - Good. 'It is believed that ...' Why is it only 'believed'? It's a fact, not an opinion!
Second main paragraph - Good, but notice the large difference in size between this and the preceding paragraph. Keeping main paragraphs roughly the same length is a good tip!
Conclusion - Good. Grammar: numerous benefits
Overall a good essay, though I think that some more development of ideas or another paragraph on another idea would be a simple improvement.
All the best,
David
Re: Please help me to review and give me comment about this writing. Thank you
Hello David,
Thanks for your feedback.
I will take note of that.
Best Regards,
Xianz
Thanks for your feedback.
I will take note of that.
Best Regards,
Xianz
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Evgenii Rodin
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2015 6:54 am
Re: Please help me to review and give me comment about this writing. Thank you
Let me underline just some of your mistakes:
Nowadays, it is believed that all people should own a debit or credit card along with them and they prefer to bring the cards along with them instead of carrying notes. In this essay, I am party agree about this statement.
First of all, I think that it is more efficient to carry card instead of cash, especially when you purchase something expensive. If not, you are going to bring a bunch of money with you, which it might attract bad people to steal it from you. However, it is better that we still carry some cash with us. As not all places accept payment using electronic card. For example, the small shops, night markets and hawkers centers. Although it is effective to have electronic card, we need to be aware while doing the payment especially online payment. It is believed that some hackers try to hack other people’s card and steal all the money remain in the card.
On the other hand, by having an electronic card, if you lose your wallet, the person who get the wallet are unable to get your money as long as they do not have your Personal Identification Number (PIN). However, for safety reason, once we lost the any of the debit or credit cards, we must immediately call the bank to ask them to cancel the cards.
In conclusion, I believe that having a debit or credit cards has numerous of beneficial. It is safe as long as the other person do not know the PIN but, we still need to be aware. However, I think it is also good to have some cash along with us. Just in case there is an emergency.
Nowadays, it is believed that all people should own a debit or credit card along with them and they prefer to bring the cards along with them instead of carrying notes. In this essay, I am party agree about this statement.
First of all, I think that it is more efficient to carry card instead of cash, especially when you purchase something expensive. If not, you are going to bring a bunch of money with you, which it might attract bad people to steal it from you. However, it is better that we still carry some cash with us. As not all places accept payment using electronic card. For example, the small shops, night markets and hawkers centers. Although it is effective to have electronic card, we need to be aware while doing the payment especially online payment. It is believed that some hackers try to hack other people’s card and steal all the money remain in the card.
On the other hand, by having an electronic card, if you lose your wallet, the person who get the wallet are unable to get your money as long as they do not have your Personal Identification Number (PIN). However, for safety reason, once we lost the any of the debit or credit cards, we must immediately call the bank to ask them to cancel the cards.
In conclusion, I believe that having a debit or credit cards has numerous of beneficial. It is safe as long as the other person do not know the PIN but, we still need to be aware. However, I think it is also good to have some cash along with us. Just in case there is an emergency.