Writing Task 1 (Academic IELTS)
Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2015 8:01 am
Can you assess my writing, please?
The task:
The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The pictures are here (sorry for some inconvenience): http://www.writingacademia.com/ielts-wr ... -and-1995/
My answer:
The bar chart and the line graph illustrate the growing figures of Japanese travellers abroad and particularly in Australia in 1985-1995.
Overall, the amount of Japanese going out of the country reached its highest by 1995. Furthermore, the share of visitors from Japan coming to Australia showed a threefold jump.
Looking in more detail, the number of Japanese tourists overseas was ever- increasing. Starting from 5 million in 1985, it amounted 11 million by 1990, up 6 million compared with the mid-80's level, as the chart shows. Then, there was a slight fall in 1991 before the peak of more than 15 million in 1995, a 10-million upsurge within the given decade.
Similarly, it can be seen from the graph that the share of Japanese tourists coming to Australia was constantly expanding. In 1985, only 2% of Japanese people visited Australia, while the percentage point doubled in 1987. After a 0.5% drop in 1990, the proportion of Japanese travellers in Australia reached a 6% mark by 1995. (167 words).
The task:
The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The pictures are here (sorry for some inconvenience): http://www.writingacademia.com/ielts-wr ... -and-1995/
My answer:
The bar chart and the line graph illustrate the growing figures of Japanese travellers abroad and particularly in Australia in 1985-1995.
Overall, the amount of Japanese going out of the country reached its highest by 1995. Furthermore, the share of visitors from Japan coming to Australia showed a threefold jump.
Looking in more detail, the number of Japanese tourists overseas was ever- increasing. Starting from 5 million in 1985, it amounted 11 million by 1990, up 6 million compared with the mid-80's level, as the chart shows. Then, there was a slight fall in 1991 before the peak of more than 15 million in 1995, a 10-million upsurge within the given decade.
Similarly, it can be seen from the graph that the share of Japanese tourists coming to Australia was constantly expanding. In 1985, only 2% of Japanese people visited Australia, while the percentage point doubled in 1987. After a 0.5% drop in 1990, the proportion of Japanese travellers in Australia reached a 6% mark by 1995. (167 words).