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Task2-cause- changing shopping habit

Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 6:47 am
by rairaichan0115
In many places shopping is becoming a free-time activity, replacing the traditional hobbies of the past. Discuss the reasons for this development. Is this development positive or negative?

In this age of change, the human society is progressing rapidly on various fronts. The habit of shopping is converting from buying daily’s needs to leisure activities. There are some disagreements as to whether the overall effect of this changing habit has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, it is felt that the benefit of this far outweighs its drawbacks. This essay will examine the major causes of altering shopping behavior.

Firstly, one of the major causes of changing shopping manner to causal work today comes as a result of the spirit of materialism. For instance, in order to present their social status, affluent Chinese are rather buying extravagant products in their leisure time than purchasing necessities. This makes it clear that individuals prefer to buy the excessive items for indicating how much they are. As this shows, pursing high-priced goods can be concluded today’s greatest cause of transforming shopping manner from conservative hobbies to leisure activities.

In additional, other causes of this happening are the cutting-edge technology. To illustrate, nowadays, people can do the shopping just simply to click on a button without stepping out from their house. They can easily consume all the goods from the Internet. Consequently, the state-of-the-art technology is influencing their shopping habits and they can purchase at anytime at anywhere. It is obvious from this that the advanced technology is one of the reasons why their old shopping manner has been replaced.

In conclusion, this new shopping habit can bring enormous economic prosperity to the community. As it provides a lot of opportunities for the people who would like to commence their businesses. Also, I believe that this development will be kept on since the technology is progressing.

Re: Task2-cause- changing shopping habit

Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 10:19 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello again!

Introduction - Very good!

First main paragraph - Are Chinese people buying luxuries INSTEAD OF necessities or IN ADDITION TO them? Also, which Chinese people do you mean? Are we talking about poor Chinese people, for example?

Second main paragraph - Again, is this ALL Chinese people? For everything they buy?

Conclusion - Is this the CAUSE of prosperity or the RESULT of it? If it is the cause, then you are saying that China got wealthier simply because people went shopping!

Overall, not totally clear. Limited vocabulary means that ideas are not well-expressed and meaning is not clear. A wider range of grammatical structures would help, particularly conditionals and better use of modals.

All the best,
David