Writting task 2: Water Pollution - Causes and Solutions. I need some comments,pls

[nhatlinh276]

Water pollution is an extreme problem on a global scale which people are having to cope with on an increasingly regular basis. What are some main causes and solutions for this issue?



Due to the industrialization and urbanization, the level of water pollution is increasing significantly which has become a major global issue. This essay will discuss some relevant reasons and subsequently solutions to address this problem.

Water is polluted by a variety of reasons. Firstly, the amount of industrial and domestic sewage results in the destruction of water resources. There are many manufactures are constructed along rivers or seas so that their wastes are being dumped directly to our water. Secondly, a lack of filtering system also a main cause of this issue. Because of an expensive purifying infrastructure system, most factories avoid building one.

However, water pollution can be solved by two possible solutions. Governments have a strong responsible to raise the awareness of public about protecting the water environment. Mass media could be used as a method to educate people about how water is important to our society. In addition, factories need to be encouraged to build the filtering system. They could ask for supporting investment from governments or some environmental organizations to create their own effective one.

In conclusion, water resources are at risk because of sewage come from both industries and domestic and also a lack of purifying system. However, the attitude of citizens and producers could reduce the serious of the problem.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi!

First main paragraph - Water is polluted FOR ... There are many factories constructed along ... Because a purification system is expensive, most ...

Generally, a good essay, but I think that you need to develop the ideas more. Personally, I find that the 'lack of awareness' reason is weak. I mean, let's be honest, if you don't know by now that various chemicals and pollution are a danger to the environment, you haven't been keeping yourself informed. I've travelled to remote places where people have little education, and they know this!

All the best,
David