Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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n0m4n
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:16 pm

Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by n0m4n »

The diagram highlights the steps involved in making and distributing of tomato ketchup. There are 15 stages in the diagram, from picking tomatoes to eating ketchup with hamburger and fries.

The first step is that the tomatoes are picked up by farmer and put in basket. After that they are sorted out to separate good tomatoes from bad tomatoes and then transferred to ketchup factory, where stalk, seeds, and skin are eliminated from tomatoes, and then tomatoes are put in a container. After being crushed into paste in container, ingredients like sugar, vinegar, and salt are then added in it. Once ingredients have been added, it is then boiled under fire. After boiling, it is then left for cooling for two hours. At this stage ketchup is ready to be poured in the bottles.

Once the bottles have been filled out, they are then labeled and sent to quality controller, where its quality is analyzed. After quality is assured, bottles are then packed into boxes. Boxes are then loaded into lorries, which take them to supermarket. Finally, customer buy ketchup from supermarket and enjoy it with hamburger and fries.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hi!
This is a REALLY good answer - very few mistakes and meaning is clear throughout. Change 'eliminated' to 'removed'.
All the best,
David
n0m4n
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:16 pm

Re: Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by n0m4n »

Thanks David for your feedback.
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