Please review my writing task 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
Doni Nacho
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2015 4:55 pm

Please review my writing task 1

Post by Doni Nacho »

The given table displays data about the figures of the survey taken from the people so as to know the attitude of them towards the city sport club's activities, facilities as well as opening hours.
Overall, what stands out from the graph is that, in all three areas more than 50% of bothe men and women are blisfully happy about the possibilities that has been created.
Looking at the details, in the area of range of activities, the rate of women stands at 35%, while it is 20% higher in their opposite counterparts who are extremely satisfied. The quantity of people who consider activities normal stabilizes at 35% and 40%, for males and females, respectively. 30% of females feel dissatisfaction, whereas it is only 5% in males.
As regards club facilities, just under two thirds of both members are very satisfied with, whereas the numbers are relatively lower for people who feel a sense of satisfaction ( 22% and 27%). As for the dissatisfied people, the results are 14% and 10% in respect to women and men. According to the survey, females are blisfully satisfied with the opening hours of the club, but it is only 44% for males. Similar trends are observed among both sexes who feel OK about opening hours at about 23% on average. The lowest result is taken by females which is 3%, when it is 37% for males who dissatisfied with the opening hours.
Attachments
image.jpg
image.jpg (1.25 MiB) Viewed 530 times
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please review my writing task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hi Doni,
Overall, not bad, but watch out for grammatical errors (e.g. for males who ARE dissatisfied), vocab (blissfully?) and word choice (rate = the speed of change, not the number at a particular time).
All the best,
David
Post Reply