Please check my essay!

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Wayfarer
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Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 3:04 pm

Please check my essay!

Post by Wayfarer »

what are factors which are related to academic success in high-school students?

Although secondary education is regarded as an essential milestone of one's life in the large number of countries, majority of students are often unaware of ways to enhance their performance in high school. There have been distinctively different theories about causes of academic prosperity since the establishment of schools. It is however believed that the factors contributing to better grade in school vary from one individual to another. In this essay, two major factors influencing students results will be vividly illustrated.
First of all, among the all primary aspects of students lives which act as precursor for breakthroughs in school, impact of environment is the most outstanding. That is to say, place of residence and people surrounding a school boy will substantially influence his progress in studies, since many adolescents at high school tend to opt for the path chosen by their peers and close ones. A relevant example would be the most successful basketball players ever, Michael Jordan. Young Michael revealed his eagerness for this type of sport in his early childhood when he used to play basketball with other kids in streets of Brooklyn. Despite of being discouraged by coaches and members of a school team, Michael with a genuine hope looked up to and was inspired by his brother Lesley who was a professional player. As a result, people standing nearby encouraged him to perform at a higher level. Thus, the progress at school can be catalyzed by the people surrounding a student.
Another significant factor in academic progress of a high school student is curiosity. As long as a pupil is fascinated by what he is learning, any hurdles and obstacle arising in the process of studying can be overcome. This is owing to joy derived from learning the subject, as it is indispensable when sustaining the consistency of intellectual growth. Take the Co-founder of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg for instance. Any time he is inquired about the secret of his prosperity, he repeatedly replies that it is irresistible interest in Computer Programming that has driven him all this time. Even in his school years Mark stood out among others by his passion towards technology which brought him academic excellence alongside with wealth. Since strong curiosity played a vital role in Zuckerberg’s success, the same factor boosts academic results in high school.
In way of a conclusion, it is generally agreed that there may be diverse reasons for obtaining high marks at secondary school. Nonetheless, I reckon that student's environment and his interest in subjects are the most notable ones.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please check my essay!

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hi Wayfarer,
This is a good essay, though the question is quite easy, certainly for academic IELTS. Anyway, good grammar, good vocab, good points.
Nice!
David
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