Kindly assess my writing thnx.

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gel317
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 3:56 pm

Kindly assess my writing thnx.

Post by gel317 »

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


It is not debatable that crimes are foremost problems that our society is facing nowadays. That is the reason people suggested that death penalty should be enforce because without it people’s safety are compromised and their lives are in danger. Moreover, others believed that capital punishment is important to lessen the violence in different parts of the world and I totally agree with their claim.

Firstly, most nations that imposed death penalty to the offenders have fewer crimes compared to the countries that do not have capital punishment. For instance, the Russian federation wherein many criminals were hanged or given lethal injection their citizens are afraid to commit into various crimes because they are terrified to end their lives that way. Furthermore, most individuals respect their law for they know the rules and regulations of their nation are very strict

Secondly, the presence of violence in many countries is primarily because of the syndicates or bandits living in that area but if there is death penalty then these group of bad people will think twice because they are afraid to get involved in any crime get caught and face death. Moreover, less grave violence like theft will not be a problem anymore for the reason that offenders are afraid that they will be strongly punished by their state.

In my country, various syndicates are present like foreign and local drug lords that become the root reason of different crimes. They are unafraid of our government’s law because they know that capital punishment does not exist in our place.

From my perspective, death penalty should be given to horrendous criminals that violate the innocent lives of people in every society. It is a better form of punishment to put all the morbid crimes to stop.
gel317
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 3:56 pm

Re: Kindly assess my writing thnx.

Post by gel317 »

Why no one is evaluating my work?
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Kindly assess my writing thnx.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!
Why is it not debatable?
The rest of the essay does not relate to the question.
The death penalty has not been demonstrated to be a deterrent. In fact, countries with the death penalty (USA) often have higher rates of violence than those that do not have it (Canada).
Grammar is good, but this essay would score low on the other criteria.
All the best,
David
gel317
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 3:56 pm

Re: Kindly assess my writing thnx.

Post by gel317 »

thank you for replying David.
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