Technology has been increasingly used in security purposes. This can be seen in the huge number of cameras located everywhere in streets and on buildings. It is believed that the advantages of this issue outweigh the disadvantages. This will be proven by analyzing how technology can detect and prevent from terrorist attacks as well as how it can be a source of strong evidences in case of crime.
Today, everyone has access to internet and cellphone network. This means that everybody will use it in his way, either in good or evil intentions. Fortunately, there is security technologies to prevent evil intentions such as terrorist threats. In 90th Algeria was threaten by terrorist attacks many times. At this period, tracking cellphone calls was the best weapon of the Algerian government in order to record terrorist conversations. Therefore, many terror operations had been ceased. Thus, if there was no cellphone tracking, many people could die and Algeria may live in chaos. This example clearly shows how monitoring people is very advantageous.
Cameras are also used to prevent from steal operations and crimes. This hidden eye has filmed many crimes and pictured the faces of criminals over the history. As an example, Dubai governments announced the name and the nationality of the Israeli criminal that killed a Palestinian leader in a hotel in 2011 within 24 hours because he was filmed. However, if there were not cameras in that hotel, the criminal will be free and justice will fail. Thus why tracking people is advantageous.
After analyzing how technology can be used in security purpose in order to prevent from terrorist attacks and crimes. It has now been shown that using technologies for security purpose is advantageous. However it is recommended that responsibles like governments should work more seriously in order to stop who use this development in his own purpose.
Security: Step by Step Rayen's method
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: Security: Step by Step Rayen's method
Hello!
It would be useful to have the question, because there have been several on this topic, each slightly different. Anyway, let's go through each paragraph ...
Introduction - Try to personalise the intro a little, i.e. modify "it is believed" and "this will be proven".
First main paragraph - The argument relies on terrorists using mobiles which is not always true.
Second main paragraph - In this example, the cameras did not prevent the crime - they only allowed the perpetrator to be caught.
Conclusion - Using modern tech certainly has some security benefits, but I think you could spend a little time on the disadvantages, i.e. the essay is very one-sided.
Overall, a little limited in terms of arguments. However, you do use a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. There are some mistakes, but meaning is reasonably clear.
All the best,
David
It would be useful to have the question, because there have been several on this topic, each slightly different. Anyway, let's go through each paragraph ...
Introduction - Try to personalise the intro a little, i.e. modify "it is believed" and "this will be proven".
First main paragraph - The argument relies on terrorists using mobiles which is not always true.
Second main paragraph - In this example, the cameras did not prevent the crime - they only allowed the perpetrator to be caught.
Conclusion - Using modern tech certainly has some security benefits, but I think you could spend a little time on the disadvantages, i.e. the essay is very one-sided.
Overall, a little limited in terms of arguments. However, you do use a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. There are some mistakes, but meaning is reasonably clear.
All the best,
David