writing task2 agree/disagree opnion essay1

[khak.pa]

Question:
In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their child to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extend do you agree?

Essay:
Whether children should send to single-gender schools or mixed-gender schools have been debated for many years now. Some parents think that children going to single-gender have pitfalls later in life. It is agreed that co-education is more likely to consider outweigh single gender. We will analyze further in this essay.

There are good grounds to make an argument in favor of teaching girls and boys separately. Teenage age is very dangerous where boys and girls learn things from its surroundings, they are not mature enough to learn good and bad of life. It is usually observed by a general survey of parents and teachers. Girls feel more comfortable at single-gender schools. They develop and progress quicker, also learn faster than boys. Females have appropriate speed of learning and grasping. It is often noticed that single-gender schools have less discipline issues and these are more punctual in class timings.

On the other hand, there are also sound reasons to support mixed-sex schooling. Having boys and girls together in the same class room creates competition among them. So they are more motivated, and they compete with each other. It develops team working skills against opposite gender. It gives a chance to understand and communicate opposite gender. The boys and girls have different perceptions, they can learn from each other.

But for me, I would rather think of the matter in an optimistic way. Because I believe practice of educating male and female pupils in the same school is much more of a positive development than negative.
(254 words)

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!
Let's go through paragraph by paragraph.

Introduction - Quite good.

First main paragraph - I'm not sure about some of the phrasing, e.g. "very dangerous" and "they are not mature enough to learn good and bad of life". Are these really true?

Second main paragraph - How is competition between genders different to competition within a gender? "It develops team working skills against opposite gender". I'm not quite sure what that means.

Conclusion - Why is co-education the 'optimistic' way of thinking?

Overall, try to develop your arguments, thereby making them clearer. Your arguments tend to be a list of points. vocab is good and there is a reasonable range of structures, though there are many mistakes, e.g. 'these are more punctual in class timings'.

All the best,
David

[khak.pa]

Dear Sir, greeting

great to hear you , thanks to consider my essay correction finding.

i will re-work and try to improve and get back to you shortly

yours obediently
saleem