PLease, check my essay for IELTS WT_1

[murad agayev]

The diagrams present how coffee is manufactured generally. Obviously, it can been seen that the coffee that people enjoy each day has taken a long journey to arrive in their cups, and its dry method differs through the stages that are divided into twelve phases.
Firstly, the crop is picked by hand in a labor-intensive and difficult process, and then it is filtered. Following this, beans are dried under the sun approximately a month, and they are turned regularly in the harvest area. Before it is drown to grinder, the production is accumulated in grain storage. After hulling by workers, the beans are milled and loaded into bags. Having completed this stage, the green coffee is sold. In its eleventh step, the beans are roasted in special machinery system. In the end, the final coffee production is packed and given to markets.
In conclusion, it can be inferred from above mentioned process that the method of coffee making is more complex and it needs long time with human labor.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Murad,
It would be useful to have the diagram, but I will assume that you have included all the stages of the process.
In the introduction, delete the words 'generally' and 'obviously'. The 'dry method differs' mentioned in the introduction is unclear. Perhaps you mean 'drying method'? What does it differ to?
In the main paragraph, 'drown to grinder' is unclear. Do you mean 'placed in a grinder'?
Overall, this seems to be a good report, if it matches the process illustrated in the diagram. There are some minor grammatical/vocabulary mistakes, but they rarely make it hard to understand to the report.
All the best,
David