task2 the gender discrimination

[qowlaks]

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In the current era, the large number of people are suffering from sex discrimination. I think the reason of it is because of stereotype. I will discuss this problem.

To begin with, when we were in elementary school, we have studied about the difference between women and men. Therefore, we think normally Women are diligent ,gentle and vulnerable, whereas men are aggressive ,authoritative , competitive and strong. I think that is why we stereotype. In my opinion, if we try to reduce gender discrimination, we have to change system of education due to that our educational environment makes us regard women and men as having different strengths and weaknesses. If we had lived in environment that people think women and men can have same strengths and weaknesses, we might not care what gender you are and what your job is.

Actually, when employers hire new employees, they have a tendency to check their gender. As mentioned before, if we are living in the environment. They might not do like that and it would be not able to be exclude males or females from specific jobs by employers

However, a lot of women still think they are vulnerable, so a duty which is quite dangerous has to be dealt with by men, while men still consider that it is better that women get like jobs which require delicacy.

In conclusion, the way to break and change the stereotype is make a new educational system which make our environment different from before. It might be able to change our thought. And then I believe the gender discrimination will reduce naturally.

[Flick]

task2.png

In the current era, a large number of people are suffering from sex discrimination. I think the reason for this is stereotypes. I will discuss this problem.

To begin with, when we were in elementary school, we learned about the differences between women and men. Therefore, we think normally women are diligent, gentle and vulnerable, whereas men are aggressive, authoritative, competitive and strong. I think that is why we stereotype. In my opinion, if we want to reduce gender discrimination, we have to change the system of education which encourages us to regard women and men as having different strengths and weaknesses. If we lived in an environment in which people think women and men can have the same strengths and weaknesses, we might not care what gender you are and what your job is.

Actually, when employers hire new employees, they have a tendency to check their gender. As mentioned before, if we are living in an environment that doesn't discriminate, they might not do that and would not exclude males or females from specific jobs just because of their sex.

However, a lot of women still think they are vulnerable, so a duty which is quite dangerous has to be dealt with by men, while men still consider that it is better that women get jobs which require delicacy.(<--Can you give examples of dangerous jobs and delicate jobs?)

In conclusion, the way to break and change the stereotype is to make a new educational system to change the way we think about the sexes. And then I believe gender discrimination will reduce naturally.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello,
This is a good essay, but I would suggest developing the second and third main paragraphs (beginning 'Actually' and 'However'). The simplest way of doing this is to give examples, using specific jobs/occupations.
All the best,
David