[Please assess my essay]

[Harun]

Question :
Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Answer -

It is quite evident that in modern world, countries throughout the globe are in a competition of producing larger quantities of materials and goods. It is agreed that optimal production should be the primitive target of every nation. This will be shown by analysing the consistent correlation between a country's production and overall progress as well as how the first world and developing countries are making the proper use of this link.

First of all, the production of a country is the criterion for measurement of its income. In various ways, high production rate can ensure the economic growth of a nation. For example, if the production of a nation is far higher than its demand, it can export goods and materials to other nations to earn foreign revenue. Therefore, it will have the opportunity to expand its budget and spend higher amounts of money for development. Moreover, international position can be fortified by generating and exporting quality goods as countries that produce more are the ones that are valued more. Thus, it becomes clear that the production of a country is positively correlated with its development.

In addition, economic models of extensively developing countries such as China,India, Brazil clearly indicate that they focus primarily on increasing their production. Each of these country is among the highest producing countries of the world regarding various sectors. For instance, China has the largest automobile industry in the world and India is the most prominent producer of vegetables and meat. Therefore, it is no surprise that higher production opens avenues for financial elevation.

To conclude, the above evidence perfectly embodies the assumption that the fundamental goal of a country should be producing as much goods and materials as possible. Otherwise, it has no choice but to lag behind in today's highly competitive world.

[Flick]

Question :
Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Answer -

It is quite evident that in the modern world, countries throughout the globe are competing to produce larger quantities of materials and goods. It is agreed that optimal production should be the primary target of every nation. This will be shown by analysing the consistent correlation between a country's production and overall progress as well as how the first world and developing countries are making use of this information.

First of all, the production of a country is the criterion for measurement of its income. In various ways, high production rate can ensure the economic growth of a nation. For example, if the production of a nation is far higher than its demand, it can export goods and materials to other nations to earn foreign revenue. Therefore, it will have the opportunity to expand its budget and spend greater amounts of money for development. Moreover, its international reputation can be fortified by generating and exporting quality goods as countries that produce more are valued more. Thus, it becomes clear that the production of a country is positively correlated with its development.

In addition, economic models of extensively developing countries such as China, India, and Brazil clearly indicate that they focus primarily on increasing their production. These countries are among the highest producing countries of the world in various sectors. For instance, China has the largest automobile industry in the world and India is the most prominent producer of vegetables and meat. Therefore, it is no surprise that higher production opens avenues for financial elevation.

To conclude, the above evidence perfectly embodies the assumption that the fundamental goal of a country should be producing as many goods and materials as possible. Otherwise, it has no choice but to lag behind in today's highly competitive world.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello Harun!

Sometimes, I LOVE the questions that students post on this forum! The reason I love this one is that it makes no reference to the provision of services, which is widely regarded as a key way for countries to improve their GDP.

Missing this opportunity doesn't radically reduce the score you would receive for this essay, but I am sure that it would be extremely difficult to get a high score without reference to services. However, it does have some effect - take the second sentence of your introduction for example, which clearly suggests that China is more developed than Britain, France or Germany.

As I have pointed out to students before, the aim of an academic essay is to persuade the reader, providing factual information and reasonable arguments to support your position. This is part of IELTS writing T2 as well.

All the best,
David

[Harun]

Hello Harun!

Sometimes, I LOVE the questions that students post on this forum! The reason I love this one is that it makes no reference to the provision of services, which is widely regarded as a key way for countries to improve their GDP.

Missing this opportunity doesn't radically reduce the score you would receive for this essay, but I am sure that it would be extremely difficult to get a high score without reference to services. However, it does have some effect - take the second sentence of your introduction for example, which clearly suggests that China is more developed than Britain, France or Germany.

As I have pointed out to students before, the aim of an academic essay is to persuade the reader, providing factual information and reasonable arguments to support your position. This is part of IELTS writing T2 as well.

All the best,
David

Thanks a ton for your valuable opinion. I'll try my best to fix my weak sides that you have pointed out