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Hi everyone,
I need a 7 in writing.
Please help me to figure out what band I am in and give me some feedback to improve.
Thanks a lot!




You have recently moved to a different house.
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter
-explain why you have moved
-describe the new house
-invite your friend to come and visit

Dear Lucy,

I have been missing you since we met last time. I am writing to share my happiness with you due to my new housing and would like to invite you to visit my place.

As you know, I was used to live in Eastern suburb and always wanted to move to other areas which can allow me to commute to my company in a short time. I have searched an affordable accommodation for a long time. Finally, I found one near the city, which only takes me 20 minutes to my workplace.

The building is a two-floored brick flat with a small garden in front of it. Where I live is on the first floor. The room includes two general-sized bedrooms, a bright bathroom, a well-equipped kitchen, and a spacious living room. Because of the movement, I am planning to hold a house-warming party with some intimates next weekend. Thus, I wonder if you could come and have fun together. Please let me know if you would come, and I will be really delighted if you can make it. I look forward to your reply as soon as possible.

Best wishes,
Eve





Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

In recent years, there is a significant tendency that people spend more time on travelling then they did in the past. In the following essay, the reason of this phenomenon will be examined, and the advantages that people gain from travelling will be unveiled as well.

When regarding travelling, people’s motives may vary. First of all, a host of travel approaches have improved thanks to the rapid development of modern technology. Due to the fact of this, people can easily travel between different places without much inconvenience as before. In addition, a variety of transportation methods inspire tourists to choose their favourite routes within their budget. This makes travelling more affordable to the general public. Furthermore, the increasing numbers of travellers, who are attracted by the above reasons, further boost tourism and stimulate travel agencies to provide cheaper travel packages. Therefore, the virtuous circle continuously attracts people to travel around.

Admittedly, this development not only benefits tourism related industries but also rewards travellers with advantageous outcomes. It is most evident that people are allowed to sense joy and happiness by the fact that they can relax themselves from enormous amounts of work and study during travels. Except for the recreational merits, travelling serves a positive function in educating tourists. During the time people visit different countries, they are able to experience various cultures, make friends from other backgrounds, and therefore broaden their horizons.

Since the motives mentioned above and the benefits that travelling can bring to people, it can be seen that travelling will become much more popular and accessible to people in the future.

Hi HappyEve,

Here are a few thoughts on your letter:

HappyEve wrote: You have recently moved to a different house.
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter
-explain why you have moved
-describe the new house
-invite your friend to come and visit

Dear Lucy,

I have been missing you since we last met. (<--This isn't colloquially the way greetings are expressed in English. Try: I hope you have been well. I greatly miss our talks and hope we'll have a chance to catch up soon. I am writing to tell you about my new housing arrangement and would like to invite you to visit my place. (<-- Remove "my place".)

As you know, I was used to live (<--"I was used to live" should be "I used to live".) in Eastern (<--Why is this capitalized? Is this a name?) suburb and always wanted to move to other areas which can allow me to commute to my company in a short time. (<--For the sake of clarity, reword this sentence to: As you know, I had been looking for a new living arrangement that would shorten my commute to work.) I have searched (<--Are you still searching? If not, why are you using the present perfect? Completed actions are expressed using the simple past.) an affordable accommodation for a long time. I am so pleased to tell you that I have finally found a suitable place near the city that is only 20 minutes from my workplace.

The building is a two-floored brick flat with a small garden in front of it. (<--An idea would be to group your description of the flat's location and physical properties in one paragraph and the invitation portion of the letter in another.) Where I live is on the first floor. (<--Again, this isn't colloquially how you would describe your unit. Try simply: I live on the first floor.) The room includes two general-sized (<--What is "general sized"? Does this mean "fairly large"?) bedrooms, a bright bathroom, a well-equipped kitchen, (<--An American comma. I hope the rest of this piece is consistently American.) and a spacious living room. Because of the move, I am planning to hold a house-warming party with some intimates (<--Technically, this word is accurate. However, it is so rarely used in this way that the sentence reads awkwardly.) next weekend. Thus, I was hoping you could join. Please let me know if you are able to come, and I will be really delighted if you can make it. (<--"...and I will be really delighted if you can make it" is awkward and does not link well with the first half of the sentence. Try rewording these couple of sentences to: I am really hoping you are able to join us. As I am going to be pulling arrangements together for the party, I need a headcount of who will be attending. Please kindly RSVP when convenient.) I look forward to your reply as soon as possible.

Best wishes,
Eve

I think the way you go about describing the situation is fair. There is obviously an effort being made to organize and share the ideas in a logical way. However, I feel the tone is a little off at times. You also use language that isn't direct and your grammatical tenses are occasionally flawed. These issues impact the coherence of the piece, and this in turn impacts the clarity with which your message is delivered, a situation that erodes Task Achievement.

I would guess this to be an example of band 6 writing.

Good luck,
Ryan

Thank you, Ryan.
Your feedback is really helpful.
If possible, can you suggest on my task 2 as well?
I would be truly grateful for that.
Thanks again!