Please correct and grade my essay
Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:25 am
Some people believe people should spend more time on their life for career development. But others believe we should spend more time with friends and family relations. Discuss both and give your opinion.
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Now a days, due to heavy competition in the world, we have to work hard to achieve our career goals. Some professionals tend to spend more time to build a strong career, others think that family and friends should be the top preference.
It is a true fact that many people are allocating extra time to plan their career. For instance, many employees takes extra responsibilities to impress their supervisors, so that they can get promotions on time. Where as, some individuals focus on studying higher education to keep themselves fit for next level of roles. These people consider that career development is the top priority.
However, some advocates argue that life is short and we should enjoy it. We may loose family relations and friends in the process of pursuing brighter career. Money and career are not the key factors to keep a person happy. Everyone need friends and family to share their happiness, joy and most importantly sadness. Only family and bellwethers can guide and support us when we are in troubles.
As far as i am concerned, I believe we should maintain a balanced lifestyle. We should not ignore that career is the crucial factor for a successful life. One should not completely concentrate on career to such a degree that ignore family and friends. We should manage our time effectively to give equal value to both career and relations.
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Please give me suggestions on areas to improve to achieve band score 7 in GT.
Thanks for your time.
Thanks,
Prathap
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Now a days, due to heavy competition in the world, we have to work hard to achieve our career goals. Some professionals tend to spend more time to build a strong career, others think that family and friends should be the top preference.
It is a true fact that many people are allocating extra time to plan their career. For instance, many employees takes extra responsibilities to impress their supervisors, so that they can get promotions on time. Where as, some individuals focus on studying higher education to keep themselves fit for next level of roles. These people consider that career development is the top priority.
However, some advocates argue that life is short and we should enjoy it. We may loose family relations and friends in the process of pursuing brighter career. Money and career are not the key factors to keep a person happy. Everyone need friends and family to share their happiness, joy and most importantly sadness. Only family and bellwethers can guide and support us when we are in troubles.
As far as i am concerned, I believe we should maintain a balanced lifestyle. We should not ignore that career is the crucial factor for a successful life. One should not completely concentrate on career to such a degree that ignore family and friends. We should manage our time effectively to give equal value to both career and relations.
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Please give me suggestions on areas to improve to achieve band score 7 in GT.
Thanks for your time.
Thanks,
Prathap