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Task 2 medical topics Much appreciate for marking my essay

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:40 pm
by lingxia
Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunize their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children?

In contemporary society, it is not uncommon to see vaccines are widely used in many countries around the world to prevent people from getting infectious diseases. Some people therefore believe that governments should establish laws to make sure the use of vaccines on children. I , however, think it is a risky method under certain circumstances.

Admittedly, taking actions to promote immunization on children can be beneficial for individuals and society a whole. From the perspective of individuals, it is evident that vaccines can empower them to produce antibodies in their body that go against particular virus and therefore greatly reduce the possibility of getting infectious disease like HIV or influenza. Then, from the perspective of societies, the more people receive vaccines, the less governments will spend on medical sector. The time and expenditures can thus be used for more pressing social issues.

Still, it should be pointed out that vaccines do have their limitations. That is why some people refuse to use them. For example, there are a number of people who show side effects like fever after they received vaccines, which inevitably cause concerns about the safety of the use of vaccines from parents. In addition, compelling parents to have their children immunized will inherently call for enforcement problems especially from those who do not trust vaccination, leading to further conflict in the society as a result.

In conclusion, I believe that it is entirely necessary to actively promote the use of vaccines as the benefits of using vaccines significantly outweigh its drawbacks. However, it is unrealistic to force all parents to have their children immunized because this may exacerbate the social conflict that finally turn out to be more harmful than beneficial for the society. Words 288

Re: Task 2 medical topics Much appreciate for marking my essay

Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:25 am
by jaggi7921
i'm not the examiner but after reading your essay i can say that its perfect because of structure, linking ideas properly and topic related vocab.
just one thing i noticed that is in third paragraph where you wrote "For example, there are a number of people who SHOW side effects like fever ".
i think if you use HAVE instead of SHOW then it might be better.
thanks.

Re: Task 2 medical topics Much appreciate for marking my essay

Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:35 pm
by Flick
lingxia wrote: Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:40 pm Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunize their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children?

In contemporary society, it is not uncommon to see vaccines widely used in many countries around the world to prevent people from getting infectious diseases. Some people therefore believe that governments should establish laws to make childhood vaccinations compulsory. I, however, think it is a risky method under certain circumstances.

Admittedly, taking actions to promote immunization in children can be beneficial for individuals and society as a whole. From the perspective of individuals, it is evident that vaccines can induce their bodies to produce antibodies that fight particular viruses and therefore greatly reduce the possibility of getting infectious diseasees like HIV or influenza. Then, from the perspective of societies, the more people receive vaccines, the less governments will spend on the medical sector. The time and expenditure can thus be used for more pressing social issues.

Still, it should be pointed out that vaccines do have their limitations. That is why some people refuse to use them. For example, there are a number of people who experience side effects like fever after they receive vaccines, which inevitably cause concerns about the safety of those vaccines from parents. In addition, compelling parents to have their children immunized will inherently create enforcement problems, especially with those who do not trust vaccination, leading to further conflict in the society as a result.

In conclusion, I believe that it is entirely necessary to actively promote the use of vaccines as the benefits of using vaccines significantly outweigh the drawbacks. However, it is unrealistic to force all parents to have their children immunized because this may exacerbate the social conflict that could turn out to be more harmful than beneficial for the society. Words 288