PLease, check my essay for IELTS WT_2

[murad agayev]

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.
Why do you think that is? Recently
What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Art has been important for human societies in the world over the years. Nevertheless, few people in the public are interested in art in contrast with the past. The arguments are that people can easily make money in business and the science-technology force them to act as a robot in everyday life. The purpose of this essay is to explain some reasons of the lessen interests of people on art in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, we live in the computer century now. It is clear that everything we use is automatic and people can easily pick up technological matters. Take the example of that a man is able to pay its payments on the Internet not going to the bank. Another sample is that everybody uses mobiles, computers in their everyday life. This shows that people tend to be automatic and avoid creative activities. In conclusion, most of them concentrate on the science and technology not on the art.

Secondly, the economical sides are the most considered in the society after transition to capitalism. It is no surprise that the ratio of people making money in business is more than the ratio of people making money in arts nowadays. For instance, a businessperson takes profit his business every month by making huge money but the artist swallows in difficulty until he sells his paintings. Because of this, people analyze such real situations and decide to focus on business. Thus, many get away from the art because of making a lot of money on business sectors.

Finally, countless people depreciate to work in art sector and have tendency to make great effort in science, technology and business in todays. Above analyzed the point of views are which they can make more profit in these sectors and become not creative in the result. In order to increase peoples’ interests in the arts, not only the governments should promote and subside art sector but also the parents should encourage their children to take interest in creative work in the world.

(337 words)

[Flick]

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.
Why do you think that is? Recently
What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Art has been important for human societies all over the world throughout history. Nevertheless, fewer people are interested in art in contrast with the past. The arguments are that people can easily make money in business and the science-technology industry. The purpose of this essay is to explain some reasons of the lessening interest of people in art in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, we are living in the computer century. It is clear that everything we use is automatic and people can easily pick up technological matters. Take the example of paying bills online without having to go to the bank. Another example is that everybody uses mobiles and computers in their everyday life. This shows that people tend to prefer routine and avoid creative activities. In conclusion, most of them concentrate on science and technology not on art.

Secondly, the economical sides are the most considered in the society after transition to capitalism.(<--Reword to: "Secondly, financial considerations are more popular nowadays in capitalist countries.") It is no surprise that the ratio of people making money in business is more than the ratio of people making money in art. For instance, a businessperson takes profit his business every month by making huge money but the artist swallows in difficulty until he sells his paintings.(<--Reword to: "For instance, a businessman has a guaranteed income every month, while an artist has to rely on selling his art.") Because of this, people often decide to focus on business. Thus, many avoid art in favor of making a lot of money in the business sector.

Finally, countless people depreciate to work in art sector and have tendency to make great effort in science, technology and business in todays.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Above analyzed the point of views are which they can make more profit in these sectors and become not creative in the result.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) In order to increase peoples’ interests in the arts, governments should promote and subsidize the art industry, and parents should encourage their children to take an interest in creative work.

(337 words)

[murad agayev]

thanks a lot