TASK1 on Energy Use and Greenhouse Gas Emissions

[HL_Taker]

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first pie chart illustrates the way in which an average Australian family uses energy, and the second one gives information on the resultant greenhouse gas emissions of energy consumption. As is presented, the percentages of emissions -that are generated by using energy in refrigeration, lighting and other appliances, are double. In contrast, the percentage of emissions -that are produced by heating, is nearly third the percentage of use.

By looking at the first chart, we notice that the households in Australia use heating and water heating at the biggest two proportions, 42% and 30%, respectively. The third highest rate is 15 per cent for other appliances. Furthermore, they also consume energy in refrigeration, lighting and cooling at 13 per cent for all.

On the other hand, the second chart shows that the highest two percentages of resultant emissions are 32% and 28% for water heating and other appliances, respectively. Following that heating and refrigeration at about 15 per cent for each. Finally, the Australian households also use lighting and cooling, but at a low percentage, approximately 11 per cent in total.


I am looking for your corrections and suggestions.

[Flick]

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first pie chart illustrates the way in which an average Australian family uses energy, and the second one provides information on the resultant greenhouse gas emissions of energy consumption. As is presented, the percentages of emissions that are generated by using energy in refrigeration, lighting and other appliances, are double.(<--I do not understand this sentence. 'Are double' what? In contrast, the percentage of emissions that are produced by heating, is nearly third the percentage of use.(<--Reword to: "However, although 42% of energy use goes to heating, the emissions that are produced by heating account for only 15% of the total emissions.")

By looking at the first chart, we notice that households in Australia use heating and water heating at the biggest two proportions, 42% and 30%, respectively.(<--Reword to: "The first chart shows that the majority of energy is used in heating and water heating, at 42% and 30% respectively.") The third highest rate is 15 per cent for other appliances.(<--Reword to: "Other appliances account for 15% of total energy use.") Furthermore, they also consume energy in refrigeration, lighting and cooling at 13 per cent for all.(<--Reword to: "Refrigeration, lighting and cooling use 7%, 4% and 2% respectively.")

On the other hand, the second chart shows that the highest two percentages of resultant emissions are 32% and 28% for water heating and other appliances, respectively.(<--Reword to: "However, the greatest gas emissions comes from water heating at 32% and other appliances at 28%.") Following that heating and refrigeration at about 15 per cent for each.(<--Reword to: "These are followed by heating and refrigeration, at 15% and 14% respectively.") Finally, the Australian households also use lighting and cooling, but at a low percentage, approximately 11 per cent in total.(<--Reword to: "Finally, lighting and cooling only account for 8% and 3% of total greenhouse gas emissions.")


I am looking for your corrections and suggestions.