Writing Task 2 (Parents/teacher) - Please help to mark

[paperheart]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

As we venture into 21st century, civilisation plays a crucial role in the modern city and this includes nurturing our future generation on human ethics and behaviour. While many people believe that such lesson should be taught in school, I personally believe that education of moral values should be brought up by parents. This essay will further elaborate on both views.

First of all, parents understand their children behaviours and attitudes better than anyone else as they are their constant guardians ever since they were introduced into this world. Thus, they play a significant figure in influencing their next generations to be a benevolent individual to the society. Besides, children tend to look up to their elderly family members, especially parents as their role model. In this case, parents can easily educate their children by leading them to the appropriate and decent of one’s conduct.

However, some claim school is responsible for shaping a child’s ethics. This is because students spend abundance amount of time at school. Hence, teachers are often portrayed as more suitable adults to provide sufficient level of disciplines to them. Also, school authority has greater facilities that could help to educate students. For example, the mandatory of having moral classes twice a week makes it inevitable for teenagers to avoid learning.


In conclusion, it is undeniable that moral values are extremely vital to a child’s upbringing as it would serve as a set of rules to be or to not be followed. Hence, I strongly agree that parents should be involved in leading their children to be a civilised figure in the society.

[jesus]

Well, i did not find any errors here. However, it is recommend that you should avoid using too much linker. I reckon it is around band 7.

[Flick]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

As we venture into the 21st century, civilisation plays a crucial role in the modern city and this includes nurturing our future generation on human ethics and behaviour. While many people believe that such lesson should be taught in school, I personally believe that education of moral values should be instilled by parents. This essay will further elaborate on both views.

First of all, parents understand their childrens' behaviours and attitudes better than anyone else as they are their constant guardians ever since they were introduced into this world. Thus, they play a significant role in influencing the next generation to be a benevolent individual to the society. Besides, children tend to look up to their elderly family members, especially parents as their role model. In this case, parents can easily educate their children by leading them to the appropriate and decent manner of conduct.

However, some claim school is responsible for shaping a child’s ethics. This is because students spend a significant amount of time at school. Hence, teachers are often portrayed as more suitable adults to provide sufficient level of disciplines to them. Also, school authority has greater facilities that could help to educate students. For example, mandatory moral classes twice a week makes it inevitable for teenagers to avoid learning.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)


In conclusion, it is undeniable that moral values are extremely vital to a child’s upbringing as it would serve as a set of rules to be or to not be followed. Hence, I strongly agree that parents should be involved in encouraging their children to be civilised figures in the society.

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Thank you for providing your feedback on my essay!
Much appreciated!