Does travel help to promote understanding and communication

[maria.sultana]

Nowadays, travelling is considered the best way to build up the relations between different countries. People travel in different parts of the world and try to know about their culture, tradition, and living ways. It helps to raise the strong relationships between countries and countrymen. By travelling people can move everywhere and promote culture, moral values and trade of their countries.
In the past, when there were very low means of communication, people cannot go anywhere easily; they were just limited to their home town. So, they did not know much about other cultures and traditions. There were many demerits of this, they could not promote their businesses at high level and could not understand others thinking. Even if any tribe entered to the area of some other tribes, they would not bear them and there were battles held them. These battles continued for long times and there were many losses of health and wealth.
Now in modern age, travelling is too much easy people can visit the whole world and know about the other culture. If a man go abroad, he embrace with others and in this way two or more nations come close and relations promote. People can set up their businesses at international level and establish the economics of their countries. For instance, China has strong economy, because, its people move all over the world and promote their trade. They know very well how to treat with people and attract them towards their trade.
In conclusion, travel is important factor for developing the relations between different countries. In this way, people have good opportunities to understand each other and establish their trading for the betterment of their countries.

[Larry]

Hello Maria,

I'll try to give you a little bit of feed back on your task 2 essay. I rewrote the essay to correct grammar and vocabulary mistakes as well as better focus on the answer to the question. There are more suggestions after the essay. I hope this helps.


Travelling is the best way to improve relations between the people of different countries. Nowadays people are able to travel to different parts of the world and learn about other countries’ culture, tradition, and how people in another country live. They are also able to do business with the people of other countries. This helps improve relationships between countries and the people of different nations.

In the past, could not travel easily. They were limited to their home town. So they did not know much about other cultures and traditions. Two disadvantages of this were that they could not promote their businesses and could not understand how others thought. Even if a tribe was able to travel to the area of another tribe, the two tribes would most likely just fight. This caused much loss to health and wealth.

Now in the modern age, traveling is much easier. People can travel the world and learn about other cultures. If someone goes abroad, they can learn about another culture and in this way nations come closer and have better relations. Also people can set up their businesses at an international level and improve the economy of their country as well as the country they do business with. For instance, China has a strong economy because its people move all over the world and promote trade.

In conclusion, travel is important factor for developing the relations between different countries. When people travel and do business in other countries, people of different countries have good opportunities to understand each other and establish their trading for the betterment of their countries.


I rewrote the essay, and tried to stay as close as possible to your original essay. But I would actually recommend that you take out the second paragraph and put in a paragraph about how traveling for pleasure helps promote understanding and communication. Then your third paragraph would be about how travelling for business also helps promote understanding and communication. This would make for a clearer essay than "in the past it was difficult to travel, but now it is easy". Don't forget your introductory paragraph and conclusion paragraph should briefly state your two main ideas.

I'm not totally familiar with writing band scores so I can't say for certainty what your band score for this essay might be. My guess would be somewhere between a 5 - 6. But like I said I'm not too familiar with band scores for writing so if anyone else wants to give a band score please do.

[Chi]

Hi Maria,

As Larry pointed out that your essay did not answer the question directly despite the fact that you stated your thesis right from the beginning of the essay.

From my own experience, I would suggest that you take your time to analyse the question carefully. Many time, more in the past, I just read a question and rush to start writing immediately. Often this leads to lack of consistency and logic in the answer.

Your question is "Does travel help to promote understanding and communication" - obviously your answer is "Yes", and you need to come up with at least 249 more words to convince your readers why or how travel promotes understanding and communication.

Have you watched Ryan's videos how to structure an essay. They helped me a great deal with the brain storming process.

Hope that helps!

[Caleb]

Yes it does, basically its about going to the different regions and getting better with communication on general basis which is the most important form of it.At the moment the way you have highlighted thinking of the things which are there is helpful and the way you have talked about is something appreciable because that helps surely.