NEED FEEDBACK WRITING TASK 1 AND 2
Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2015 8:48 pm
Hello.
I'm new here , I failed to get my score in IELTS for 1st time, because I got 5 in writing I need 5.5 . I'm taking my IELTS again in 11th July. I could really use some feedback on my 1st and 2nd task writing, maybe some of you have some tips. Or only just a approximate prediction would be good.
TASK 1
The table illustrates Japnese tourists who have been visiting another country in the time period from 1985 till 1995. Second line graph demonstrates Australia’ s part in Japanese tourist market.
The bars shows that there has been increase over 10 years. The hihest peak of tourism vas in 1995. When almost 16 milljons of Japanies were traveling abroad. The 2nd trend was in 90’s when 11 milinons were traveling. As this shows the lowest care about other country was in the 1985, when only 5 milions of Japanes went exploring other cultures.
To continuous line graph demonstrates the situation of Australia’s share af Japan’s tourist market. In the other words how much money Australia gain from Japanies tourists. Interesting fact is that the biggest income was in between 1993 and 1994. Thus seems odd because the highest score of tourists was in the 1995.
To sum this up Japanies have started traveling a lot more than in 1985. The ups and downs for Austalias tourism were more different than count of torursts. It is clear that torums industry is rising.
TASK 2
Popular events like the football World Cup and others international sporting occasions are essential in the easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way.
Nowadays tere are many conflicts between countries , nationalitys and peole in general. But there comes a time whene everyone feels like one powerfull, patriotical nation. Usualy sport is the reason. In my opinion sport realy unites a contrie. For exaple we can take, local games that are popular in the UK as well the olipmic games and in my contrie it is ice hockey that brigngs nation together.
In Estonia one month in a yeare is called ice hockey month and it is may. Every self respecting Estonian trys to watch and follow our team games. We are not the capital of ice hockey county, but we always play aginst them. For example Canada, USA and Russian.
If Estonians team gets into play-off and we get to play against Russian team it is a big day. Even Russian that are living in Estonia are supporting our team. If we win against them usualy next day is official hollyday and we have this fealling that we won the war.
From Anciant Roman times the olimpic games is a simbole of respect, unitiy and peace. As everyone knows whene the games ate happenig the war must stop. It is a rull form that is sill keep even afetr many centurys. The olipmics unites the world. Neibhourconties are supporting each other and everyone is foucstu in the games.
I belive that every contie should hava a national sports like it is for the Unieted Kingdom. The football is the one who brings everyone together. It embrices the pattiotical feealing like nothing elese.
Whitout a doubt , I can say that sports is very powerfull and it most deffinetly brings people together. It helpes them to fell like a part from something bigger.
I'm new here , I failed to get my score in IELTS for 1st time, because I got 5 in writing I need 5.5 . I'm taking my IELTS again in 11th July. I could really use some feedback on my 1st and 2nd task writing, maybe some of you have some tips. Or only just a approximate prediction would be good.
TASK 1
The table illustrates Japnese tourists who have been visiting another country in the time period from 1985 till 1995. Second line graph demonstrates Australia’ s part in Japanese tourist market.
The bars shows that there has been increase over 10 years. The hihest peak of tourism vas in 1995. When almost 16 milljons of Japanies were traveling abroad. The 2nd trend was in 90’s when 11 milinons were traveling. As this shows the lowest care about other country was in the 1985, when only 5 milions of Japanes went exploring other cultures.
To continuous line graph demonstrates the situation of Australia’s share af Japan’s tourist market. In the other words how much money Australia gain from Japanies tourists. Interesting fact is that the biggest income was in between 1993 and 1994. Thus seems odd because the highest score of tourists was in the 1995.
To sum this up Japanies have started traveling a lot more than in 1985. The ups and downs for Austalias tourism were more different than count of torursts. It is clear that torums industry is rising.
TASK 2
Popular events like the football World Cup and others international sporting occasions are essential in the easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way.
Nowadays tere are many conflicts between countries , nationalitys and peole in general. But there comes a time whene everyone feels like one powerfull, patriotical nation. Usualy sport is the reason. In my opinion sport realy unites a contrie. For exaple we can take, local games that are popular in the UK as well the olipmic games and in my contrie it is ice hockey that brigngs nation together.
In Estonia one month in a yeare is called ice hockey month and it is may. Every self respecting Estonian trys to watch and follow our team games. We are not the capital of ice hockey county, but we always play aginst them. For example Canada, USA and Russian.
If Estonians team gets into play-off and we get to play against Russian team it is a big day. Even Russian that are living in Estonia are supporting our team. If we win against them usualy next day is official hollyday and we have this fealling that we won the war.
From Anciant Roman times the olimpic games is a simbole of respect, unitiy and peace. As everyone knows whene the games ate happenig the war must stop. It is a rull form that is sill keep even afetr many centurys. The olipmics unites the world. Neibhourconties are supporting each other and everyone is foucstu in the games.
I belive that every contie should hava a national sports like it is for the Unieted Kingdom. The football is the one who brings everyone together. It embrices the pattiotical feealing like nothing elese.
Whitout a doubt , I can say that sports is very powerfull and it most deffinetly brings people together. It helpes them to fell like a part from something bigger.