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jesus wrote: The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of
the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the
fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



In today’s world, women have has been highly involved in the outdoor activities: job and business, rather than staying home and looking after their children. However, these sorts of act acts isare seen as the major cause of improper child care. It is disagreed that working women are entirely responsible for the problems encountered by youths. This will be proven by analyzing the availability of distinct child care facilities and, the optimal balance between family life and working life.

Firstly, there are numerous child care institutions and day nurseries which removes much of the obligation of mother ontowards theirher children. For example, many cities in Nepal, Kathmandu and Pokhara in particular, are running several child care schools: Mountain kindergarten; Sandeep children home; Lakeside child house. If young people are admitted in these schools, it will definitely attenuate some of the responsibilities for child rearing that used to fall on mothers. What this means is that only women are not responsible for the proper care of a child.

Additionally, despite working outside the home to improve financial status, adults adult females can cater satisfying care to their needs of their children children. The scheme of doing part time job by mother, and being available for their children before and after school, embodies this idea perfectly. Therefore, through these course of action , women can create plausible balance between working life and family life. As a ramification, mothers should not be denounced blame for the difficulties of young people.

After evaluating the idea of child care facilities and, the perfect balance between family life and working life, it is apparent that the working pattern adopted by women is reasonable, criticizing adult females for bad habits of youths is preposterous. It is thus hoped that women will be entirely respected for their good deeds on their children by practicing the notion mentioned in this essay.


Words = 303

Please ensure your opinion on this essay will be mentioned as a comment.

Lopa wrote:I think you did pretty good job.
I read the introduction, and I have some notes for you in a way that we as student should help each other.
1 women have not has because women are plural.
2 have been involving not involved because you said these days which means it's still happening.
3 are seen instead of is seen because you're not talking about the act, you actually talked about sorts which are plural.
4 working women is not are because you're talking about "working women" not women only.
5 it's usually responsible "for" you forgot to write " for'.
I hope that would make sense for you. I am just trying to help and I do like it when other students give my feedback. Good luck

tuananhchau wrote:I have only one suggestion:
' adults females' => female adults

krishmba06 wrote:Essay is great..
could you give me tips to improve my Vocabulary. you have used words like Preposterous, Denounce, Ramification, Embodies.. I am pretty sure you would have gone through a lot of materials.. can u please suggest me some, so that I could try to improve and get a better IELTS Score.
Thanks.

terry3218 wrote:

jesus wrote: The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of
the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the
fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



In today’s world, women have has been highly involved in the outdoor activities: job and business, rather than staying home and looking after their children. However, these sorts of act acts isare seen as the major cause of improper child care. It is disagreed that working women are entirely responsible for the problems encountered by youths. This will be proven by analyzing the availability of distinct child care facilities and, the optimal balance between family life and working life.

Firstly, there are numerous child care institutions and day nurseries which removes much of the obligation of mother ontowards theirher children. For example, many cities in Nepal, Kathmandu and Pokhara in particular, are running several child care schools: Mountain kindergarten; Sandeep children home; Lakeside child house. If young people are admitted in these schools, it will definitely attenuate some of the responsibilities for child rearing that used to fall on mothers. What this means is that only women are not responsible for the proper care of a child.

Additionally, despite working outside the home to improve financial status, adults adult females can cater satisfying care to their needs of their children children. The scheme of doing part time job by mother, and being available for their children before and after school, embodies this idea perfectly. Therefore, through these course of action , women can create plausible balance between working life and family life. As a ramification, mothers should not be denounced blame for the difficulties of young people.

After evaluating the idea of child care facilities and, the perfect balance between family life and working life, it is apparent that the working pattern adopted by women is reasonable, criticizing adult females for bad habits of youths is preposterous. It is thus hoped that women will be entirely respected for their good deeds on their children by practicing the notion mentioned in this essay.


Words = 303

Please ensure your opinion on this essay will be mentioned as a comment.

HI these are my unqualified suggestions.
Nice structure btw
Regards.

jesus wrote: ↑Thu Jun 25, 2015 10:09 am The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of
the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the
fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



In today’s world, women have become highly involved in work activities: careers and business, rather than staying home and looking after their children. However, this is seen by some as the major cause of improper child care. It is disagreed that working women are entirely responsible for the problems encountered by youths. This will be proven by analyzing the availability of child care facilities and the optimal balance between family life and working life.

Firstly, there are numerous child care institutions and day nurseries available, which removes much of the obligation of a mother to her children. For example, many cities in Nepal, Kathmandu and Pokhara in particular, run several child care schools: Mountain kindergarten; Sandeep children's home; Lakeside child house. If young people are admitted to these schools, it will definitely ease some of the responsibilities for child rearing that used to fall on mothers. What this means is that not only women are responsible for the proper care of their child.

Additionally, despite working outside the home to improve financial status, adults females can still provide satisfying care to their children. Carrying out part time work and being available for their children before and after school embodies this idea perfectly. Therefore, through this course of action, women can create a plausible balance between working life and family life. As a ramification, mothers should not be denounced for the difficulties of young people.

After evaluating the availability of child care facilities and the perfect balance between family life and working life, it is apparent that the working pattern adopted by women is reasonable, and criticizing adult females for bad habits of youths is preposterous. It is thus hoped that women will be entirely respected for their good deeds with their children by practicing the solutions mentioned in this essay.


Words = 303

Please ensure your opinion on this essay will be mentioned as a comment.