Please assess my writing?

[AvidLearner]

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children)
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is inarguable that you owe you community a considerable amount for providing you with a motivating learning environment, state of the art health facilities, comfortable means of entertainment and a trusted circle of people that do not hesitate to help whenever they can. What has sparked controversy is whether schools should force students to pay service to their communities or should the ethical decision be left to one's own conscious.
Judging by the fact that today's world is disintegrating into self-centred individuals without the faintest sense of selflessness, many believe that urging our juveniles to give back to their community is greatly beneficial, if not necessary. Not only will community service lend a helping hand to society but it is also believed to boost the volunteer's confidence and feeling of achievement. The prospects of community service are endless ranging from fundraising for altruistic causes to putting one's trusty skills to help the less fortunate members of society. It is also well worth noting that if students are obligated to spend more time paying homage to their community, the levels of teen violence and substance abuse, which currently maim the world, will experience an impressive drop.
Others however, do not see eye-to-eye with those who cheer on compulsory community service, they believe that the ever-demanding high school programmes should not throw any more burdens on the students' shoulders. Without a shadow of a doubt, academic achievement is a much needed way of paying the debt to society. There is not a single ray of hope for a community that does not prioritise education which is truly the sine qua non of life.
In conclusion my opinion is on par with the idea that service to others is the payment we make for our space on Earth. Although education and a respectable profession will indubitable add value to the individual and society, encouraging students to keep their bank of benevolence eternally open with no awaited return is guaranteed to mould people, who will genuinely give to their maximum potential.

thank you in advance

[sherwan]

Nowadays it is more difficult to concentrate and pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose a solution


Decreased level of concentration inside school's classrooms is becoming a serious problem in different parts of world. This essay will discuss some of the reasons behind that and presents part of solutions for it.

First, one of the major reasons behind this issue is the change of school regulations. Nowadays, as many schools follow the new principles of teaching and education which is much more different than what was used to be. For example, nature of punishments and detentions are less effective than before .This has led to creation of some kind of careless behaving among children and made them to act toward these punishments very lightly.
Another factor behind this issue is that parents spend less time with their kids. For instance, it is well known that most of wives and husbands are busy with work during day hours. Consequently, they do not have enough time to spend with their children in order to give them valuable advises and explain to them the role of school and the importance of listening to their teachers, and thus, they will grow having insufficient values.

It is argued that this problem can be solved in different ways. Firstly , the high authorities in ministry of education should go through the school regulations and review them again and make some changes in order to be more helpful and effective for the process of education. Secondly, parents should try to find more time to spend with their kids, they also have to stay in contact with school authorities, for example, they must attend the parent’s teacher meetings in order to have close understanding about their children’s behavior and academic performance.
In summary, lack of children’s attention in schools is a serious problem; it is believed that both careful studying and analysis of the reasons and coordination of parents and schools may be helpful.