Page 1 of 1
Can anyone help me check my task 2 essay. ( Required band 6
Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 9:48 am
by jordantankl
Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.
Do you agree or disagree?
It is common today, parents nowadays have less time with their children compare to the past 30 years. This can be seen to the changes of lifestyles, daily needs and the technology advances from the parents to the children. It is believed the modern lifestyles have bring less attention to their children with several points given in the essay.
Firstly, with modern lifestyles needed everything has been increased and the value of money is getting smaller. The parents are more often to focusing their work to get more income then their children. The daily pocket money for a children in 30 years ago and today has big different as RM1 and RM20 for instant. This example clearly show, the comprised between the value of money from last 30 years and today.
However, the modern lifestyle has influenced the people are getting lazy to communicate with their children. With the advanced of the technology people are getting interest or attracted by the social media, TV programmers and made them to more often to use and less communicate with their children. It is obvious when looking at this example that with the modern lifestyle than made parents could not analysis between the important of it.
After analyzing the areas of to earn the daily needs and the advanced of the technology has made parents nowadays less focusing to their children then what they should be. As has been proven the parents should take equality from to the modern lifestyle and their children. It is expected that, children would get memory childhood as the children did in the past.
Re: Can anyone help me check my task 2 essay. ( Required band 6
Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 7:57 pm
by chetan1706
7.0 in British
Re: Can anyone help me check my task 2 essay. ( Required band 6
Posted: Sat May 23, 2015 6:44 am
by jordantankl
chetan1706 wrote:7.0 in British
thanks a lot
Re: Can anyone help me check my task 2 essay. ( Required band 6
Posted: Sat May 23, 2015 2:37 pm
by faty
this is my first time rating anyone but i am just pointing out mistakes. Bold portion of your essay needs to be looked at again.
"It is common today, parents nowadays have less time with their children compare to the past 30 years. This can be seen to the changes of lifestyles, daily needs and the technology advances from the parents to the children. It is believed the modern lifestyles have bring less attention to their children with several points given in the essay.
Firstly, with modern lifestyles needed everything has been increased and the value of money is getting smaller. The parents are more often to focusing their work to get more income then their children. The daily pocket money for a children in 30 years ago and today has big different as RM1 and RM20 for instant. This example clearly show, the comprised between the value of money from last 30 years and today.
However, the modern lifestyle has influenced the people are getting lazy to communicate with their children. With the advanced of the technology people are getting interest or attracted by the social media, TV programmers and made them to more often to use and less communicate with their children. It is obvious when looking at this example that with the modern lifestyle than made parents could not analysis between the important of it.
After analyzing the areas of to earn the daily needs and the advanced of the technology has made parents nowadays less focusing to their children then what they should be. As has been proven the parents should take equality from to the modern lifestyle and their children. It is expected that, children would get memory childhood as the children did in the past.