Writing task II: please evaluate my work
Posted: Sat May 09, 2015 2:12 pm
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Humankind has successfully developed medical care, including more effective medicines with less negative effects and improvements on medical technology. Therefore, the distinct outcome is that people are able to live longer as well as average age, or life expectancy, is increasing. It is debatable whether there are more advantages than disadvantages. The reasons given in this essay may prove that the improvement has more disadvantages.
Firstly, if human can live longer, it means that the proportion of senior citizen may be the highest. The most significant drawback of the outcome is that insufficient labors will possibly occur. In other words, the huge numbers of senior citizen may not be hired to work in most workplaces, which could probably negatively affect a country’s economy.
In addition, living longer and increasing life expectancy will contribute to more population, whereas, the global resources, including food and land, are lessen. As it has been well aware that food resources are decreasing, with more population will cause even more severe situation.
In conclusion, although it’s a pleasure for most people in the world to live longer for any reasons. In order to see their descendants’ growth, for example, is reasonable to be able to spend the valuable life longer. However, there are plenty of disadvantages of living longer and increasing of life expectancy as a result from the development of medical care in the world nowadays.
I am looking forward to seeing my scores in the IELTS band (0-9) and hearing some comments
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Humankind has successfully developed medical care, including more effective medicines with less negative effects and improvements on medical technology. Therefore, the distinct outcome is that people are able to live longer as well as average age, or life expectancy, is increasing. It is debatable whether there are more advantages than disadvantages. The reasons given in this essay may prove that the improvement has more disadvantages.
Firstly, if human can live longer, it means that the proportion of senior citizen may be the highest. The most significant drawback of the outcome is that insufficient labors will possibly occur. In other words, the huge numbers of senior citizen may not be hired to work in most workplaces, which could probably negatively affect a country’s economy.
In addition, living longer and increasing life expectancy will contribute to more population, whereas, the global resources, including food and land, are lessen. As it has been well aware that food resources are decreasing, with more population will cause even more severe situation.
In conclusion, although it’s a pleasure for most people in the world to live longer for any reasons. In order to see their descendants’ growth, for example, is reasonable to be able to spend the valuable life longer. However, there are plenty of disadvantages of living longer and increasing of life expectancy as a result from the development of medical care in the world nowadays.
I am looking forward to seeing my scores in the IELTS band (0-9) and hearing some comments