Please evaluate my essay - GT question 2
Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 7:53 am
Dear all, I am new to this forum. Would you evaluate my practice answer taken from a recent exam's question? Thanks very much.
Question: Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?
Answer:
Modernization resulted growing number and size to cities which led to the expansion on urban population. Urban living almost always perceive as long hour working with relatively tiny living space. This situation might be the major factor to the growth of both unhealthy diet habit and the lack of physical exercise practice. With such poor practice, healthier lifestyle has to be encouraged through different routes.
Firstly, government should encourage people to have relevant physical exercise and diet by early education. This approach does not only to let children to gain physical fitness from their younger age, but also to benefit from the reduction of medical care burden. Since many researches from famous universities showed the influence to early child being the most effective, government should consider to legislate on physical education being mandatory. Fixing a critical problem often require more than one solution and the government may need more solutions than education method.
In addition to encourage people to exercise with early education, government should also provide financial incentive as an encouragement to cultivate healthy lifestyles. While the lack of appropriated space for physical exercise may play a crucial part, the construction of recreation parks becomes critical. For example, if real estate developers are to obtain tax advantages as a trade off to build recreational features and organic farms along their property projects, more opportunities for physical exercise, which are closed by the working class people, could offer more health lifestyle conversion.
In conclusion, although the increase of unhealthy lifestyle can be blamed on urbanization process, people can still choose what they wish to do by putting efforts on extra time and money. The support from the government acts as a catalyst to healthy lifestyle.
Question: Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?
Answer:
Modernization resulted growing number and size to cities which led to the expansion on urban population. Urban living almost always perceive as long hour working with relatively tiny living space. This situation might be the major factor to the growth of both unhealthy diet habit and the lack of physical exercise practice. With such poor practice, healthier lifestyle has to be encouraged through different routes.
Firstly, government should encourage people to have relevant physical exercise and diet by early education. This approach does not only to let children to gain physical fitness from their younger age, but also to benefit from the reduction of medical care burden. Since many researches from famous universities showed the influence to early child being the most effective, government should consider to legislate on physical education being mandatory. Fixing a critical problem often require more than one solution and the government may need more solutions than education method.
In addition to encourage people to exercise with early education, government should also provide financial incentive as an encouragement to cultivate healthy lifestyles. While the lack of appropriated space for physical exercise may play a crucial part, the construction of recreation parks becomes critical. For example, if real estate developers are to obtain tax advantages as a trade off to build recreational features and organic farms along their property projects, more opportunities for physical exercise, which are closed by the working class people, could offer more health lifestyle conversion.
In conclusion, although the increase of unhealthy lifestyle can be blamed on urbanization process, people can still choose what they wish to do by putting efforts on extra time and money. The support from the government acts as a catalyst to healthy lifestyle.