Please critic My Essay and guide me how to improve it.

[Jem_Asi]

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Today, violence and antisocial behavior are extremely viral in the society. It is believed that many people are not afraid of commiting crimes after they served in prison because some of these offenders developed their natural instict to do crimes from their childhood, during their psychosocial development. However, there are several measures that the govermnent could implement to resolve this problem.

It is belived that the criminals are always criminals even they are being punished by law as the root of these antisocial acts started during their childhood. For instance, when the right patterns of psychosocial development of the person are not met during the first year of their life, antisocial behavior will manifest during their adulthood. For this reason, these poeple are engaged to crime and violence due the abscence of concicence or failure of identifying good or bad and another reason that support this claim is the fact that pleasure is the dominant personality in their minds that's why it is usual for them to commit crimes. After analyzing this idea, it is clear that many offenders have a frequent chance to do more crimes after their first punishment in prison.

However, there are several possible measures that the govermnet could implement to solve these existing problems about repeating criminal acts by the offenders after they are being punished. First, the goverment may increase the intensity of punishment for these offenders. For intance, when ex convict failed to be a good citizen of the society after they went out from prison, the goverment could impose a life imprisonment or to the extent of death penalty. Second, when these offenders play as a role model in society by presenting a positive outlook in life, the goverment can give a reward such as a descent job or creating school that gives them an opportunity to continue their education. From this, it is clear that anyone who commited any crimes or antisocial behaviors had a chance to change their life if they are being guided and inspired in a good path.

Following analyzation of these claims such as the reason why the offenders are still doing crimes after they served in prison and the possible measures that the goverment could do to resolve this problem, it can be concluded that this problem can be prevented when the goverment will follow the measures that mentioned above.

[sos1947]

I see that you are making careless spelling mistakes, in one paragraph you wrote "believed" but in the next one "belived". Your score may drop 5.5 because of such mistakes. IELTS instructors are ruthless when it comes to checking .

Avoid duplication of words like "criminals are always criminals" say something like "criminals will not change their behavior or habits"

Your sentences lack coherence and cohesion you may lose points for that.

For grammar , there are better guys who can help. I am no good but I think there are grammatical mistakes.

The good thing is I liked your topic vocabulary.

[Jem_Asi]

Thank you for your comments about my essay wrting. I appreciate that.