could this essay score 7.5 ?

[nazo]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies.
Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing.
Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
You should write at least 250 words.

Education is the base for a successful and productive society.While some people believe that children should spend the majority of their time building this base by studying,Others believe that children should enjoy their childhood as much as possible.In my opinion children should spend the majority of their time studying because of several reason , which I will explain bellow.
Of course , children need to enjoy their childhood by playing,As playing can help them learn some new skills such as playing football. Many studies have shown that the most famous players in Asia were discovered while playing football at a very young age,for example, the talented Bahraini footballer Sayed Ahmed Ali was discovered while playing with his cousins in the street at the age of four.Moreover,playing can improve children’s health “ playing is the most enjoyable exercise”.
However, I highly believe that children should spend most of their time studying.Learning at a very young age can tremendously contribute in building self-confidence and intelligence. A new study shows that 95% of confident people in the united states have been learning since a very young age .In addition, children who start learning at a young age tend to have lower risks of catching mental diseases , according to mental disease organization. Added to that, kids who start learning at a very young age tend to master languages more easily than their peers, because obviously they started learning these languages before their peers did.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that children should study as much as possible; However it would be fair enough if they play whatever they enjoy in the weekends.

[nazo]

where are you peple

[Johnson zhang]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies.
Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing.
Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
You should write at least 250 words.

Education is the base for a successful and productive society.While some people believe that children should spend the majority of their time building this base by studying,Others believe that children should enjoy their childhood as much as possible.In my opinion children should spend the majority of their time studying because of several reason , which I will explain bellow.

Of course , children need I don't think they need to , they want to, they can , they should to enjoy their childhood by playing,As playing can help them learn some new skills such as playing football. Many studies have shown that the most famous players in Asia were discovered while playing football at a very young age,for example, the talented Bahraini footballer Sayed Ahmed Ali was discovered while playing with his cousins in the street at the age of four.Moreover,playing can improve children’s health “ playing is the most enjoyable exercise”.

so they should be playing for the gaining sport skills reason? the question says, others believe they should be playing most of time. one channel of view seems shallow on the topic.

However, I highly believe that children should spend most of their time studying.Learning at a very young age can tremendously contribute in building self-confidence and intelligence. A new study shows that 95% of confident people in the united states have been learning since a very young age .In addition, children who start learning at a young age tend to have lower risks of catching mental diseases , according to mental disease organization. Added to that, kids who start learning at a very young age tend to master languages more easily than their peers, because obviously they started learning these languages before their peers did.

I would specify school- learning ,learning takes place in playing as well as you said before.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that children should study as much as possible; However it would be fair enough if they play whatever they enjoy in the weekends.

i may be wrong, your approach to the question is a dangerous one. You didn't compare others' opinions from a rather subjective stand. people think this way because .... only in the your last para, you state your view and brief your main reason. I don't think this is an opinion essay which asks your opinions only on the topic. good examples though

[mickel123]

Nice Post