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Essay try-outs
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2014 4:41 pm
by Johnson zhang
Three types of essays! All of them had been looked over by my tutor. Not entirely my choice of words. My actual writing ability would be less superior.
*****
Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places. Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Many people especially tax payers get annoyed whenever they see a damaged public property. The culprits are usually aged below 30, which indicates a youth problem in society and their discontent with their life.
Two major problems with youth today are anger and unhappiness. I have personally witnessed some teenagers who were drunk, encouraged by their fellow company, set a bin on fire using newspaper. It may have been a demonstration of their anger or dissatisfaction for not getting what they want in life or perhaps pure stupidity. Either way, I believe they are the key motives for many public misconducts by young people these days.
Usually, malicious public misbehaviour serves to satisfy one’s unethical needs. Typical methods used to destroy government-owned properties show this; for example, scraping, dismantling, smashing, burning and painting of graffiti, are all acts of aggression. In some cases, it is done to voice anger to the public and the government; therefore, the purpose of the act would be stated clearly for people to see such as ‘no more austerity’ graffitied on a pole.
Both local authorities and public need to have a firm stance for serious punishment in order to alleviate tax payers’ losses. Video-camera surveillance, heavy fines or even a harsh jail sentence could all serve as deterrents to this violation of the law; consequently, the number of incidents would be effectively reduced. The general public can also help by reporting suspicious gangs of teenagers or drunk people in general lingering around in a public area, especially late at night.
In conclusion, I believe that youth’s misconducts that have destroyed some valuables in public areas are caused by their anger, stupidity or confusion about the purpose of life. Also, apart from the above suggestions, to curtail the wasteful losses of tax payers’ investment, school education is also important. It is because that people who could fully realise the various consequences of committing a crime would think twice before going ahead to make a fool of themselves.
*****
Task 2: greed and selfishness is common in the modern society. Return to the old, traditional values as well as respect to our families can create a better world to live in.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Greed and selfishness is becoming prevalent today. Some people believe that going back to the old school ways of thinking as well as respecting our family members can help create a better world to live in. I completely agree with this view because both greed and selfishness are causes for social ills such as family disintegration, and the old school ways of thinking can still benefit the modern society.
Greed and selfishness are not helping create a productive world for us. Especially greed, which once was considered a notorious sin, is still tormenting families and leading to crimes. A case of this was the recent financial meltdown as greedy bankers approved loans to borrowers who were known financially insecure and incapable of repaying them back. In comparison, selfishness is also problematic as it can easily sour and erode personal relationships such as romantic ones until they fall part.
Returning to old values can mean a better world. The principal reason is that the effectiveness of this way of thinking has long been proved. For example, valued personal attributes such as generosity, diligence, prudence can educate individuals in extremely positive ways and thus even the world. Therefore, this society in general will benefit itself enormously if the majority of people seek to learn from the old school values.
In addition, the world will become a better place to live in if we all have deep and sincere respect for our family members. It is mainly because that families constitute a significant part of the society. In this prospective, if families are in harmony and loving, then domestic violence and divorce rates will be reduced, and their children's home-learning environment will probably be improved as well.
Thus, looking at above arguments, it is pertinent to claim that the old and wise way of thinking from the past, outclasses greed and selfishness. If they became the dominating culture, the population of greedy and selfish people would then diminish, the world would be fairer and more productive, and people’s lives and wellbeing would improve greatly.
*******
Recently you had a party at your house. There was a lot of noise late at night and you disturbed your next door neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter:
• explain the reasons for the noise
• apologise
• describe what action you will take to prevent it from happening again
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ..........,
Dear Mr. Johnson,
I am writing to sincerely apologise for how I kept you awake last night. Please allow me to explain.
The reason I had a party last night was my recent job promotion. You may remember, I joined my company, Tech Solutions, 6 months ago as a temporary administrative staff. My hard work during the time has earned praise and kind words from the company’s senior employees. As a result, I was given a permanent job contract to become a junior manager assistant. The party last night was a celebration of the new job.
I am really sorry that you were kept awake last night until late. The music may have been too loud due to our lack of consideration for you and other neighbours. A couple of my mates drank too much and started to yell to express their enthusiasm to create a good vibe. Their shouting certainly did not please you waiting in bed and ready to go to sleep. It was truly unfortunate that our overindulgence last night has caused you headaches and frustration.
To best prevent this incident from happening again, I would like to suggest that I will inform you in advance when and why this household wishes to have a party as well as an appropriate time we will go quiet for you.
Once again, my apologies for the inconvenience caused.
Best regards,
Peter Zhang
essays
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:25 am
by Johnson zhang
*******
Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
A great number of people keep doing things they already know well because it gives them a sense of security. Many others, on the contrary, prefer to take risks. My preference is to seize a good opportunity whenever possible and I do not mind trying new things.
The principal reason why I often try new things is that it could expand my horizons and grow my professional and social circle. From my own experience, moving out of my comfort zone could let me meet professionals who work in different fields or industries. This expansion of my professional and social circles have been enormously beneficial to my career advancement, business promotion prospects and even romantic relationships. Therefore, I try new things on a frequent basis as they can open up further opportunities in life.
Another main reason why I am not afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone is that life can become more diverse and interesting this way. This idea is excellent because being more willing to embrace a random but good opportunity is the key to a rich and fulfilling life. To illustrate this, some cover models were scouted when working as a waiter or shopping. They significantly improved the quality of their lives because they tried new things. In this regard, I prefer trying new things because being adventurous is intrinsic to living a life to the fullest.
In conclusion, I prefer trying new things because it can benefit me in a number of ways such as giving me a diverse range of opportunities and a richer life. If there had to be risks involved, they should be reduced to the minimum through diligent and meticulous preparation work.
******
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people agree that some individuals are born with a specific natural talent. However, others believe that anyone can become successful in their chosen field if they are taught well. In this essay, both views will be discussed before I present my opinion.
On one side, genetic traits in humans’ biological development are widely believed to play a crucial role in the success of people. This belief is supported by many studies, research and anecdotal stories reporting that only a small proportion of children were born with an extraordinary level of responsiveness to learning a particular skill. As a result of their swift learning and emulation, those few are generally labelled as talented professionals or geniuses. For example, the world-class violist Yo Yo Ma could play the violist expertly at the age of eight. Hence, evidence such as this makes it clear why many support the belief of innate capacity.
However, it is also widely believed that a successful education can enable anyone to become an expert in their field. This is reinforced by the fact that humans’ brain capacity and physical aptitude can develop further into maturity if nurtured correctly. For instance, I was the worst performing student in my English class, but after additional private tuition, I was able to become one of the top students in my class. Another valid point is that dedicated hard work throughout one’s education is often argued to be more important than talent in order to become a professional. Therefore, many people believe in education and its perspective in helping anyone become skilful.
In conclusion, there are strong and valid points on both sides of this debate. On balance, however, I believe a commitment to education, especially in an area of long-term interest, is mostly likely to result in resounding success for most people.
******
Competitiveness is considered to be a positive quality among people.
How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is competitiveness a positive or negative quality?
Most people believe that wanting very much to win gives people hope and confidence. This essay discusses how being competitive influences people, and explains why it is a positive quality.
The types of changes occurring to individuals who transform from being unwilling to compete to willing are manifold. One major change is that people become determined and disciplined when they begin to compete. This is because a competitive environment amplifies the need for self-evaluation. For instance, dancers who often have to compete vigorously for scarce jobs often record and examine videos of themselves dancing for further refinement. A further point is that although this act works to enhance their dancing abilities, they could also apply this self-evaluation strategy to improve their decision making, communication skills and personal relationships.
Competitiveness is a positive quality for two main reasons. The first of them is that competitive individuals tend to accomplish more because they pursue their goals with considerable vigour and enthusiasm. For example, I entered the brilliant Mathematical Olympiad in high school out of having a competitive spirit. The outcome was that my mathematic skills were honed beyond any high-school standards. Another important belief is that competitiveness can fetch an awareness of one’s flawed thinking, an awareness that is widely believed to have a positive effect on the overall strength of a person or a company. For instance, Apple’s former CEO Steve Jobs initially barred, the iPod, from functioning in Microsoft’s operating systems, and Apple missed a significant share of the market. Years later, he abandoned his ill-fated strategy, only then did the iPod become the world’s most popular music player.
In conclusion, competitiveness affects individuals in a way that they become driven, diligent and prudent. Thus, in my opinion, competitiveness gives cause for hope and confidence, and it is a promising and beneficial characteristic.
Re: An band score 8 essay?
Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2014 12:23 am
by kiaconchim
I have no experience in marking an essay, so I wouldn't be able to say what range it would fall in, but I know about grammars and vocabulary, and I find this sooooo good! Wish I could right this good when my exam comes.
In my opinion, I find the structure and the complex of grammars used are great, obviously you know what you're doing. Somehow, however, I feel that it lacks a bit to get an absolute 8 or above. Maybe it's about the vocabulary. In order to get high marks and sound more "professional", you may want to add in some specific words that differentiate you from 7-7.5 band-ers. I posted a link below, it is from Mr. Ryan as well (you're talking about Mr. Ryan Higgins, I suppose), hope it could be of use to you
Plus, I also got some materials from My. Simon, also a former IELTS examiner. He says an IELTS introduction should contain 2 and only 2 sentences, while it is 1 for conclusion. Mr. Ryan, on the other hand, recommends that we should write 4 sentences for introduction, and 3 for conclusion.
Which one do you think is the best approach?
Link youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DweMwLnqNMA
Re: An band score 8 essay?
Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2014 9:02 am
by Johnson zhang
Thanks.
Re: An band score 8 essay?
Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2014 10:02 am
by Johnson zhang
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Re: A band score 8 essay?
Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:12 am
by Johnson zhang
Competitiveness is considered to be a positive quality among people.
How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is competitiveness a positive or negative quality?
Re: essays
Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 7:04 am
by Johnson zhang
Task 2: greed and selfishness is common in the modern society. Return to the old, traditional values as well as respect to our families can create a better world to live in.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Re: Essay try-outs
Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:11 pm
by Johnson zhang
Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places.
Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Re: Essay try-outs
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 10:28 pm
by saqibali
Re: Essay try-outs
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:09 pm
by Flick
[quote="Johnson zhang"]
*****
Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places. Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Many people, especially tax payers, get annoyed whenever they see damaged public property. The culprits are usually aged below 30, which indicates a youth problem in society and their discontent with life.
Two major problems with youth today are anger and unhappiness. I have personally witnessed teenagers who were drunk, encouraged by their friends to set a bin on fire using newspaper. It may have been a demonstration of their anger or dissatisfaction for not getting what they want in life or perhaps pure stupidity. Either way, I believe these are the key motives for many public misconducts by young people these days.
Usually, malicious public misbehaviour serves to satisfy one’s unethical needs. Typical methods used to destroy government-owned property shows this; for example, scraping, dismantling, smashing, burning and painting of graffiti, are all acts of aggression. In some cases, it is done to voice anger to the public and the government; therefore, the purpose of the act would be stated clearly for people to see, such as ‘no more austerity’ graffitied on a pole.
Both local authorities and the public need to have a firm stance for serious punishment in order to alleviate tax payers’ losses. Video-camera surveillance, heavy fines or even a harsh jail sentence could all serve as deterrents to this violation of the law. Consequently, the number of incidents would be effectively reduced. The general public can also help by reporting suspicious gangs of teenagers or drunk people in general lingering around in a public area, especially late at night.
In conclusion, I believe that youth’s misconducts that have destroyed some valuables in public areas are caused by their anger, stupidity or confusion about the purpose of life. Also, apart from the above suggestions, to curtail the wasteful losses of tax payers’ investment, education is also important. It is because people who could fully realise the various consequences of committing a crime would think twice before going ahead to make a fool of themselves.
Re: Essay try-outs
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:15 pm
by Flick
[quote="Johnson zhang"]
Task 2: greed and selfishness is common in the modern society. Return to the old, traditional values as well as respect to our families can create a better world to live in.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Greed and selfishness is becoming prevalent today. Some people believe that going back to the old school ways of thinking, as well as respecting our family members, can help create a better world to live in. I completely agree with this view because both greed and selfishness are causes for social ills such as family disintegration, and the old school ways of thinking can still benefit modern society.
Greed and selfishness are not helping create a productive world for us. Greed in particular, which once was considered a notorious sin, is still tormenting families and leading to crimes today. A case of this was the recent financial meltdown as greedy bankers approved loans to borrowers who were known to be financially insecure and incapable of repaying them. In comparison, selfishness is also problematic as it can easily sour and erode personal relationships such as romantic ones until they fall apart.
Returning to old values can mean a better world. The principal reason is that the effectiveness of this way of thinking has long been proved. For example, valued personal attributes such as generosity, diligence, and prudence can educate individuals in extremely positive ways and thus the world. Therefore, society in general will benefit itself enormously if the majority of people seek to learn from old school values.
In addition, the world will become a better place to live in if we all have deep and sincere respect for our family members. It is mainly because families constitute a significant part of society. In this perspective, if families are in harmony and loving, then domestic violence and divorce rates will be reduced, and their children's home environment will probably be improved as well.
Thus, looking at the above arguments, it is pertinent to claim that the old and wise way of thinking from the past outclasses greed and selfishness. If they became the dominating culture, the population of greedy and selfish people would then diminish, the world would be fairer and more productive, and people’s lives and wellbeing would improve greatly.
Re: Essay try-outs
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:17 pm
by Flick
Johnson zhang wrote:
Recently you had a party at your house. There was a lot of noise late at night and you disturbed your next door neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter:
• explain the reasons for the noise
• apologise
• describe what action you will take to prevent it from happening again
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ..........,
Dear Mr. Johnson,
I am writing to sincerely apologise for how I kept you awake last night. Please allow me to explain.
The reason I had a party last night was my recent job promotion. You may remember, I joined my company, Tech Solutions, 6 months ago as a temporary administrative staff member. My hard work during that time has earned praise and kind words from the company’s senior employees. As a result, I was given a permanent job contract to become a junior manager assistant. The party last night was a celebration of the new job.
I am really sorry that you were kept awake last night until late. The music may have been too loud due to our lack of consideration for you and other neighbours. A couple of my mates drank too much and started to yell to express their enthusiasm to create a good vibe. Their shouting certainly did not please you waiting in bed and ready to go to sleep. It was truly unfortunate that our overindulgence last night has caused you headaches and frustration.
To best prevent this incident from happening again, I would like to suggest that I will inform you in advance when and why this household wishes to have a party as well as an appropriate time we will go quiet for you.
Once again, my apologies for the inconvenience caused.
Best regards,
Peter Zhang
Re: essays
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:27 pm
by Flick
Johnson zhang wrote:*******
Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
A great number of people keep doing things they already know well because it gives them a sense of security. Many others, on the contrary, prefer to take risks. My preference is to seize a good opportunity whenever possible and I do not mind trying new things.
The principal reason why I often try new things is that it could expand my horizons and grow my professional and social circles. From my own experience, moving out of my comfort zone has allowed me to meet professionals who work in different fields or industries. This expansion of my professional and social circles has been enormously beneficial to my career advancement, business promotion prospects and even romantic relationships. Therefore, I try new things on a frequent basis as they can open up further opportunities in life.
Another main reason why I am not afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone is that life can become more diverse and interesting this way. This idea is excellent because being more willing to embrace a random but good opportunity is the key to a rich and fulfilling life. To illustrate this, some cover models were scouted when working as a waiter or shopping. They significantly improved the quality of their lives because they tried new things. In this regard, I prefer trying new things because being adventurous is intrinsic to living life to the fullest.
In conclusion, I prefer trying new things because it can benefit me in a number of ways such as giving me a diverse range of opportunities and a richer life. If there has to be risks involved, they should be reduced to the minimum through diligent and meticulous preparation work.
Re: essays
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:30 pm
by Flick
Johnson zhang wrote:*******
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people agree that some individuals are born with a specific natural talent. However, others believe that anyone can become successful in their chosen field if they are taught well. In this essay, both views will be discussed before I present my opinion.
On one side, genetic traits in human biological development are widely believed to play a crucial role in the success of people. This belief is supported by many studies, research and anecdotal stories reporting that only a small proportion of children were born with an extraordinary level of responsiveness to learning a particular skill. As a result of their swift learning and emulation, those few are generally labelled as talented professionals or geniuses. For example, world-class violist Yo Yo Ma could play the viola expertly at the age of eight. Hence, evidence such as this makes it clear why many support the belief of innate ability.
However, it is also widely believed that a successful education can enable anyone to become an expert in their field. This is reinforced by the fact that human brain capacity and physical aptitude can develop further into maturity if nurtured correctly. For instance, I was the worst performing student in my English class, but after additional private tuition, I was able to become one of the top students in my class. Another valid point is that dedicated hard work throughout one’s education is often argued to be more important than talent in order to become a professional. Therefore, many people believe in education and its perspective in helping anyone become skilful.
In conclusion, there are strong and valid points on both sides of this debate. On balance, however, I believe a commitment to education, especially in an area of long-term interest, is mostly likely to result in resounding success for most people.
Re: essays
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:39 pm
by Flick
Johnson zhang wrote:
Competitiveness is considered to be a positive quality among people.
How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is competitiveness a positive or negative quality?
Most people believe that wanting very much to win gives people hope and confidence. This essay discusses how being competitive influences people, and explains why it is a positive quality.
The types of changes occurring to individuals who transform from being unwilling to compete to willing, are manifold. One major change is that people become determined and disciplined when they begin to compete. This is because a competitive environment amplifies the need for self-evaluation. For instance, dancers who often have to compete vigorously for scarce jobs often record and examine videos of themselves dancing for further refinement. A further point is that although this act works to enhance their dancing abilities, they could also apply this self-evaluation strategy to improve their decision making, communication skills and personal relationships.
Competitiveness is a positive quality for two main reasons. The first of them is that competitive individuals tend to accomplish more because they pursue their goals with considerable vigour and enthusiasm. For example, I entered the Mathematical Olympiad in high school out of having a competitive spirit. The outcome was that my mathematic skills were honed beyond any high-school standards. Another important belief is that competitiveness can create an awareness of one’s flawed thinking, an awareness that is widely believed to have a positive effect on the overall strength of a person or a company. For instance, Apple’s former CEO Steve Jobs initially barred the iPod from functioning in Microsoft’s operating systems, and Apple missed a significant share of the market. Years later, he abandoned his ill-fated strategy, only then did the iPod become the world’s most popular music player.
In conclusion, competitiveness affects individuals in such a way that they become driven, diligent and prudent. Thus, in my opinion, competitiveness gives cause for hope and confidence, and it is a promising and beneficial characteristic.