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help! how should I edit this essay to get a band 8?

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:28 am
by Claire3
Some languages die every year and English is becoming used more and more as a world language. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that world with fewer languages promotes harmony and understanding between people. Analyse both sides of this argument and provide your opinion. (sitting for GT module)



In the contemporary world, peoples’ lives are progressed pursuant to the changes that goblisation brings to the society. Popular western cultures have altered the overall linguistic practice around the globe, establishing English as a dominant language while leaving other minor languages in threat. Some argue that such a trend can allow global citizens to achieve harmony through destructing a communicational barrier while others state the opposite opinion. These two divergent ideas will be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.

Having English as a common language can ease possible difficulties arisen by language barriers. One can readily recount incidences of people having conversational problems when travelling overseas. Not being able to understand foreign languages disable people from comprehending foreigners’ thoughts and bonding with them. Consequentially, this may cause some to develop biased or negative perceptions of people from other countries. Therefore, if the citizens of the world could speak one or fewer languages, troubles generated by language barriers would be minimized and create a harmonious society.

However, disappearance of a language may result in a loss of a nation's cultural identity. Languages do not only represent verbal practice by humans but also reflect on a country’s traditions. For example, Korean language includes two different ways of expressing words depending on which age group one belongs to. If such as a linguistically diversified activity was to be replaced by English, the nation would lose its historical custom that had been maintained for centuries.

In conclusion, the aforementioned ideas suggest two varying opinions about having fewer languages in the world. I personally believe that every language should be preserved to keep its individual identity and characteristics.

Re: help! how should I edit this essay to get a band 8?

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 8:44 pm
by Flick
Claire3 wrote:Some languages die every year and English is becoming used more and more as a world language. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that world with fewer languages promotes harmony and understanding between people. Analyse both sides of this argument and provide your opinion. (sitting for GT module)



In the contemporary world, peoples’ lives are progressed pursuant to the changes that globalisation brings to society. Popular western cultures have altered the overall linguistic practice around the globe, establishing English as a dominant language while leaving other minor languages under threat. Some argue that such a trend can allow global citizens to achieve harmony through destroying a communication barrier while others state the opposite opinion. These two divergent ideas will be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.

Having English as a common language can ease possible difficulties that may arise due to language barriers. One can readily recount incidences of people having conversational problems when travelling overseas. Not being able to understand foreign languages disables people from comprehending foreigners’ thoughts and bonding with them. Consequently, this may cause some to develop biased or negative perceptions of people from other countries. Therefore, if the citizens of the world could speak one or fewer languages, troubles generated by language barriers would be minimized and create a harmonious society.

However, disappearance of a language may result in the loss of a nation's cultural identity. Languages do not only represent verbal practice by humans, but also reflect on a country’s traditions. For example, Korean includes two different ways of expressing words depending on which age group one belongs to. If such a linguistically diversified activity was to be replaced by English, the nation would lose its historical custom that has been maintained for centuries.

In conclusion, the aforementioned ideas suggest two varying opinions about having fewer languages in the world. I personally believe that every language should be preserved to keep its individual identity and characteristics.