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Hi,

I am going to write IELTS next month, so can anyone assess my speaking sample for the below topic and provide the feedback.
any help would be greatly appreciated

Describe an accident you saw
Where the accident occured
Where you were then
How the accident affected you
and give detailed information about the accident

http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/download/file.php?id=358

Regards,
Sandy

Dear Sandy1983291,
Thank you for sharing this harrowing experience that you witnessed. It takes bravery to talk about it. I wish the best for Peter.
Your speech was well-organized, and you addressed the points directly. I would encourage you to add in some transition and connecting words a bit more to help the listener further understand your story. For example, you might use “after that,” “next,” and “finally.”
Your vocabulary was good. I heard you use the word “incident” and “motorbike,” which are specific to the context in which you are speaking. You might consider using some more synonyms for words like “office,” which you used twice. You want to avoid repeating yourself.
Your pronunciation is quite clear, for the most part. When you say the letter “w,” however, it seems to come out as a “v.” For example, when you said, “waiting,” I heard, “vaiting.” Also, the pronunciation of the short /i/ sound, as in the word “hit,” sounds like a long “e” sound, as in “heat.” You said, “noticed,” but it came out “noteezed.” Note that I wrote that the “c” in “noticed” sounded like a “z,” so watch making “s” sounds “z” sounds by mistake.
Here are some grammar notes:
- he’s bled on the road – He BLED on the road. Use all past tense here as you are telling a story.
- on the road for red light – AT the red light
- they take him to the nearest hospital – they TOOK him
- incident used to come into my – This is in the past tense, yes, but don’t use “used to” as you’re only talking about a week or so of time. “Used to” is for habits done in the past, which are done on a regular basis.
Best wishes as you continue to practice!

Thanks lmoore for taking time to assess my speaking sample and providing detailed feedback . I am working on the points that you have highlighted . Thanks again for your help. I am planning to post my new speaking samples soon and need your assistance for assessing those samples as well.

Have a good day

Regards,
Sandy