bar essay. i need your help to improve my writing.. TIA :)

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The bar chart compares the occurrence of obesity among American teenager in terms of race or ethnicity between 1988-1944 and 2007-2008.
It is clear that there was a significant rise in the proportion of teenager obesity for all the race in the both period given. The most obese teenager boys occurred in Mexican American, while the girl obesity was prevalent in Non-Hispanic Black.
From 1988-1994, the most recorded obese teenager occurred in Mexican American for boys and non-Hispanic black for girls, both with about 15 percent prevalence rate. By contrast, the occurrence of overweight in Non-Hispanic white boys are less, below 10 percent, the lowest proportion among the other race in two period given.
In the year 2007-2008, the proportion for Mexican American boys and Non-Hispanic black girls who are obese reached its peak and the rate almost doubled, both with a significant increase of above 10 percent.

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The bar chart compares the occurrence of obesity among American teenager in terms of race and gender between 1988-1944 and 2007-2008.
It is clear that there was a significant rise in the proportion of obese teenagers for all races in the given time period. The most obese teenager boys were Mexican American, while Non-Hispanic Black girls were the most obese females.

From 1988-1994, the highest rates of obesity occurred in Mexican American males and non-Hispanic black females, both with about a 15 percent prevalence rate. By contrast, the occurrence of obesity in Non-Hispanic white boys was lower, below 10 percent; the lowest proportion among the races in the given timeperiod.
In 2007-2008, the proportion of obese Mexican American boys and Non-Hispanic black girls reached its peak and the rate almost doubled, both with a significant increase of above 10 percent.

(153)