May I request for a feedback on Writing Task 1? Thank you!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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theblissforest
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:23 pm

May I request for a feedback on Writing Task 1? Thank you!

Post by theblissforest »

I am planning to take an IELTS exam though I haven't really decided when. I am currently having difficulty in making a composition for Writing Task 1 (Academic). I hope someone could help me improve on it. Thank you!

Credits to IELTSBUDDY

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150

Image


This table displays the percentage of the household income in
five European countries every month as spent on food and
drink, housing, clothing and entertainment. Overall, households in France, Germany
and the UK have greatest expenditures on housing, whereas families
in Spain and Turkey spend most on food and drink.

In detail, it is obvious that large portions of household
budget in France, Germany and the UK go to housing
as evidenced by a percentage range of 31% to 37%
on this aspect. On the other hand, people in Turkey
and Spain allot a huge part of their earnings on
food and drink given that they spend around three-tenths of
their money on sustenance.

Finally, it is quite apparent that most countries give
more importance on entertainment than clothing except for the UK
households in which equal percentages of income are divided on
clothes and entertainment. Given the following data, it can be
presumed that households in these countries pay more attention on
basic human needs such as food and shelter.
theblissforest
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:23 pm

Re: May I request for a feedback on Writing Task 1? Thank yo

Post by theblissforest »

I hope someone could help me in improving this one. :(
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