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asrizefanya
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Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2014 4:17 pm

Please help to assess and score my writing

Post by asrizefanya »

Question: Some people think that strict punishment for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion


Traffic accidents can happen for a several reason like irresponsible driver, malfunctioned car, broken road or infrastructure, and the combination of it. Statistic shows that most of the traffic accidents happened because of irresponsible driver. They were driving in an unfit condition, like under the influence of alcohol or sleepy, and exceeding the speed limit. That cause them to be unready when sudden things happen, like pedestrian crossing the street, slippery road, or malfunctioned car.
People passed away, lost their family, and infrastructure are broken as the consequences of irresponsible driving. For example, few years ago there were a car accident in Jakarta that cost eleven pedestrian life. The driver was under drug influence when she was driving back home from a party, so when she was interviewed, she did not aware of what she had done. People were furious and expected the authorities to give her a strict sentence. Punishment like high fines, jails, or having to pay for victim's medical cost are expected to give them deterrent effect, so they will think twice before they do the same mistakes, and it is also considered fair by the victims and their family.
Others believe that different way could be done to reduce traffic accidents. One of the examples is by making a campaign or advertisement to raise drive-safe awareness like commercials that shows consequences of irresponsible driving and “BOB” campaign in the Netherlands. “BOB” is the person who is responsible to drive the car when a group of people goes out for a drink, so she or he is not allowed to drink alcohol or use drugs. Billboards for this campaign are placed in every 500 meters in some locations, so people will be constantly reminded.
In my opinion, both solution should be implemented in balance. Strict punishments are effective for some cases, and preventive actions can act as precaution to reduce traffic accidents.
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