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SUCCESSFUL SPORTS PROFESSIONALS CAN EARN A GREAT DEAL MORE MONEY THAN PEOPLE IN OTHER IMPORTANT PROFESSIONS.
SOME PEOPLE THINK IT IS FULLY JUSTIFIED WHILE OTHERS THINK IT IS UNFAIR.
DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

We are living in a world where the symmetry of wage is varied profession to profession. Obviously, in almost all societies, sports celebrities earn much more than any other professionals. This is an issue being supported and refuted by many. Since this issue is the apple of eye for many, a study is necessary to reach in a judicious conclusion.

On the one hand, frustration from poor performance of sportsman or sportswoman even after being offered a huge amount of money could be the reason for some people to argue against to this issue. For instance, when Indian cricket team lost their world cup last year, many frustrated fans across India raised their voice against high remuneration for cricket players. From this instance, it can be understandable that public may question the need for high remuneration of sports-persons when they lose their form. This could be the reason for some people to argue against giving a broader payment to sports stars.

On the other hand, being an international sports character, one is representing a whole nation to global countries. For example, consider how Usain Bolt raised the name of Jamica in Olympics with his stunning performance in running. Therefore, in order to respect the hard work of an athlete or a sportsperson for the nation, one country should pay him/her a fair amount of cash reward. This could be the reason for some to agree in favor of high payment scale for sports celebrities.

To encapsulate, it is justifiable that people would react inconveniently in the poor performance of a sports star. However being representatives of a whole nation, personalities in sports should be treated respectively and they are entitled to receive a great amount of money. Thus, it is clear that I am of the opinion support high payments for sports celebrities.

Hi Robin, here is my suggestions only...

We are living in a world where the symmetry of wage is varied profession to profession. Obviously, in almost all societies, sports celebrities earn much more than any other professionals. This is an issue being supported and refuted by many. reword this sentence, like" Some argue it is fair while others say it is unjustified. Since this issue is the apple of eye for many, a study is necessary to reach in remove 'in' a judicious conclusion. try to use very common idioms, use them in body paragraphs, if you used wrongly then examiner may unaware of what you trying to say, which is a serious mistake for coherence


On the one hand, frustration from poor performance of sports people even after being offered a huge amount of money could be the reason for some people to argue against to remove 'to' this issue. weak idea, the subject is frustration, but it is not linked in a proper way For instance, when Indian cricket team lost their world cup last year, many frustrated fans across India raised their voice against high remuneration for cricket players. why they raised their voice, From this instance, it can be understandable that public may question the need for high remuneration of sports-persons when they lose their form. This could be the reason for some people to argue against giving a broader ? payment to sports stars.

On the other hand, being an international they are asking in general, so don't mention specific sports people sports character, one is representing a whole nation to global countries. For example, consider how Usain Bolt raised the name of Jamica in Olympics with his stunning performance in running. Therefore, in order to respect the hard work of an athlete or a sportsperson i think athlete and sports mean same for the nation, one country should pay him/her a fair amount of cash reward. This could be the reason for some to agree in favor of high payment scale " high payment scale"does not collocate for sports celebrities.

To encapsulate, it is not necessary to use sophisticated vocabulary, just use normal but with accuracy, here I would say just " To sum up" it is justifiable that people would react inconveniently " react inconveniently " doesn't sound natural in the poor performance of a sports star. However, being representatives of a whole nation, personalities in sports remove " should be treated respectively and they" are entitled to receive a great amount of money. Thus, it is clear that I am of the opinion support high payments for sports celebrities. remove this sentence and club this with the above sentence, so it will be more succinct, like : However,in my opinion, representing a whole country, sports people are entitled to receive such a great amount of money

hi Robin, in my view, your task response lacks clarity and some word order is inaccurate, doesn't look band 7.