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an area of countryside

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:09 am
by Alexofgrowth
Please give me some feedback on that speech.

Describe an area of countryside you know and like.

You should say:
Where it is
What its special features are
What you and other people do in this area
And explain why you like it

Re: an area of countryside

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:16 pm
by lmoore
Hello, Alexofgrowth,
This sounds like an amazing place that you have close to your town. From what you said, it sounds like a great place to ski, too!
First, your vocabulary usage was all right. I did not notice you using many high-level words, but I did hear you try to use phrases like, “I cannot stress.” Because of pronunciation issues after this phrase, however, I couldn’t quite make out whether you used it correctly.
Next, your cohesion was pretty good as you stayed on topic and answered the question directly. However, your answer could have benefited from transitions. You started out using “first of all,” but then you didn’t use any other transitions after that. Also, you could have elaborated on the “mysterious” weather because it intrigued me.
In addition, your pronunciation and fluency could use some work. At one point, what I heard was, “This is a very ?, so there are a lot of baths and obviously trees.” I know I missed something important here because it doesn’t make sense the way I heard it. Additionally, consider working on the short /i/ sound, as in the word “river” because it sounds like you said, “reever.” Other short /i/ words are “hit,” “miss,” and “sit.” You also used many “uhs” as you were trying to think of what to say next, and it slowed down your rate of speech and comprehensibility.
As far as grammar goes, there were some small problems, but I would suggest that you focus on pronunciation and fluency instead. One error I heard was “moments spent in there with my friends.” Instead, I would suggest saying, “moments spent there with my friends.” Although you can technically be “in” a fir forest, in general, when we are talking about a location we have visited, we omit words like, “in” and “on.”
Best wishes as you continue to practice!

Re: an area of countryside

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:43 pm
by Alexofgrowth
lmoore wrote:Hello, Alexofgrowth,
This sounds like an amazing place that you have close to your town. From what you said, it sounds like a great place to ski, too!
First, your vocabulary usage was all right. I did not notice you using many high-level words, but I did hear you try to use phrases like, “I cannot stress.” Because of pronunciation issues after this phrase, however, I couldn’t quite make out whether you used it correctly.
Next, your cohesion was pretty good as you stayed on topic and answered the question directly. However, your answer could have benefited from transitions. You started out using “first of all,” but then you didn’t use any other transitions after that. Also, you could have elaborated on the “mysterious” weather because it intrigued me.
In addition, your pronunciation and fluency could use some work. At one point, what I heard was, “This is a very ?, so there are a lot of baths and obviously trees.” I know I missed something important here because it doesn’t make sense the way I heard it. Additionally, consider working on the short /i/ sound, as in the word “river” because it sounds like you said, “reever.” Other short /i/ words are “hit,” “miss,” and “sit.” You also used many “uhs” as you were trying to think of what to say next, and it slowed down your rate of speech and comprehensibility.
As far as grammar goes, there were some small problems, but I would suggest that you focus on pronunciation and fluency instead. One error I heard was “moments spent in there with my friends.” Instead, I would suggest saying, “moments spent there with my friends.” Although you can technically be “in” a fir forest, in general, when we are talking about a location we have visited, we omit words like, “in” and “on.”
Best wishes as you continue to practice!

Thank you very much! I really appreciate your feedback.

Re: an area of countryside

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:59 pm
by saqibali
If you kindly send me this in word file, I will edit it properly with excellent formatting.I will do this in my earliest free time.