Writing Task 1 Feedback&errors please

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Alexofgrowth
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Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 11:46 am

Writing Task 1 Feedback&errors please

Post by Alexofgrowth »

Hi, i'm going to take IELTS exam in 2.5 months. So please check out this answer and gine me feedback.
Thank you.



The table shows percentage of households with various necesserities in Britain from 1972 to 1983. It is very clear that some equipment had started to be a part of market only since later years.

The most popular sort of equipment is the television. It is owned by 93-98 per cent of households during the whole period. Posessing of every type of equipment increased constantly. The only anomaly was 1 per cent decrease in posessing of the washing machine from 75 to 74 per cent in 1979. Everything else followed common trend. For example, The telephone and the vacuum cleaner had one stead increase. They grew up from 42 to 77 per cent and from 87 to 95 per cent respectively. As much families in 1983 had the central heating as twise in 1972 did. There was the growth from 37 to 64 per cent.

Meanwhile, the dishwasher emerged only in 1978 and had constant growth. Video had its statistic only since last year of the period.
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Writing Task 1 Feedback&errors please

Post by Flick »

Alexofgrowth wrote: The table shows the percentage of households with various necessities in Britain from 1972 to 1983. It is very clear that some equipment only became available in later years.

The most popular equipment is the television. It is owned by 93-98 per cent of households during the whole period. Posessing of every type of equipment increased constantly. (<--Reword to: "The possession of all items increased throughout the study.") The only anomaly was a 1 per cent decrease in the possession of washing machines from 75 to 74 per cent in 1979. Everything else followed a common trend. For example, the telephone and the vacuum cleaner consistently gained ground. They rose from 42 to 77 per cent and from 87 to 95 per cent respectively. As much families in 1983 had the central heating as twise in 1972 did. (<--Reword to: Twice as many families had central heating in 1983 than in 1972, from 37 ti 64 per cent.")

Meanwhile, the dishwasher emerged only in 1978 and had constant growth. Video only emerged in the final year of the study.
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