Could you pin-point something in this paper? Give a try!

[sudeep]

Some people believe that punishment is the only purpose of prisons, while others believe that prisons exist for various reasons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are two prevailing views regarding the use of prisons. First one argues that punishment is the sole purpose of prison. However, second one believes that prison could be used for other functions. I am going to discuss both views, while I am in favor of using prison as a correction centre, where many life skills could be learnt and taught.

On the one hand, jail could serve the purpose of punishing wrong doers. Punishment as a revenge could be in the form of coercion, torture, harassment, or other stern actions. These might be applied to punish the guilty so that other defaulters are discouraged. For example, in Nepal, during, the Rana regime, democracy fighters were kept inside the jail without any facilities, where most of them died due to communicable diseases. In that era, prison was utilized for punishment only.

On the other hand, prison could be used for various purposes. The tasks could range from vocational training to research activities. For instance, the concept of open correction centre is emerging these days, where convicts are not held in custody. They are monitored for their activities from outside so that social harmony is maintained, and it helps to reduce crime rates drastically.

Moreover, teaching and learning activities could be facilitated at the prison, which develops capacity of the prisoners. The setback can be positively utilized by the prisoners by sincerely learning, sharing, improving and delivering something to the local market with their skill and hard work inside the correction centre, or jail. Last year, there was news that followed prisoner, who could buy a small plot of land from the income generated by selling crafts produced inside the prison.

In conclusion, prisons are functioning as a punishment centre in some places, while, in other places, they are delivering some goods to the local consumers by using the skills inside the correction centre. I absolutely agree that jails could be developed as a correction centre, from where all stakeholders could benefit.

[argho1985]

Some people believe that punishment is the only purpose of prisons, while others believe that prisons exist for various reasons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are two prevailing views regarding the use of prisons. First one argues that punishment is the sole purpose of prison. However, second one believes that prison could be used for other functions. I am going to discuss both views, while I am in favor of using prison as a correction centre, where many life skills could be learnt and taught.

On the one hand, jail could serve the purpose of punishing wrong doers. Punishment as a revenge could be in the form of coercion, torture, harassment, or other stern actions. These might be applied to punish the guilty so that other defaulters are discouraged. For example, in Nepal, during, the Rana regime, democracy fighters were kept inside the jail without any facilities, where most of them died due to communicable diseases. In that era, prison was utilized for punishment only.

On the other hand, prison could be used for various purposes. The tasks could range from vocational training to research activities. For instance, the concept of open correction centre is emerging these days, where convicts are not held in custody. They are monitored for their activities from outside so that social harmony is maintained, and it helps to reduce crime rates drastically.

Moreover, teaching and learning activities could be facilitated at the prison, which develops capacity of the prisoners. The setback can be positively utilized by the prisoners by sincerely learning, sharing, improving and delivering something to the local market with their skill and hard work inside the correction centre, or jail. Last year, there was news that followed prisoner, who could buy a small plot of land from the income generated by selling crafts produced inside the prison.

In conclusion, prisons are functioning as a punishment centre in some places, while, in other places, they are delivering some goods to the local consumers by using the skills inside the correction centre. I absolutely agree that jails could be developed as a correction centre, from where all stakeholders could benefit.

Hi Sudeep,

Very nicely written, However some minor comments

a) In the first para (Intro).. The first one is not arguing.. its a general statement.. while other one argues.. so you cant say that "first one argues that punishment is the sole purpose of prison".

b) Second and Third paragraphs.. you have discussed well..whereas the fourth para.. you may consider instead of Moreover, start with However, in my opinion.. This as a result, will form a good base indicating your reasons behind the stand.

c) In conclusion, what you recommend is missing.. give your recommendation which will indicate your logical thought process..

Anyways.. overall it is a good writeup.

Argho

[sudeep]

Hi Argho,
Thank you very much.
I will try to improve.

Sudeep

[allen_zhang]

It seems like you recommend to exploit prisoners by forcing them to work.

From my point of view, it would be better to put it in this way:

opening:
people have different views on the purpose of prisons.

Body paragraph one
on the one hand, punishment is an important function of prisons.
Through imprisonment, the victims could get justice; criminals will learn the consequence of committing a crime. This could prevent them from reoffending after being released from jail.
Moreover, this punishment also has a deterring effect on potential offenders.

Body paragraph two
on the other hand, rehabilitation is another vital function of prison. Educating them and teaching them transferable skills is of the same importance as punishment. This is because that most inmates will finally be released to the society. Without skills which can help them find a job and support their living, It would be hard for them to re-integrate into the society and they are more likely to fall back into their old criminal path.

conclusion
The functions of prisons are not just punishment but also rehabilitation because the ultimate goal of them is to reduce and prevent crime.

[sudeep]

Hi Allen, thank you very much for your effort.
Did you notice errors in the article/ vocabulary/ collocation/punctuation/linking words/use of complex structure/word order/ redundancies/ ... etc.
Share as far as possible/practicable.

Sudeep

[geoenvirons]

very well written, logical arguments are quite clear and I agree with Argho advice to follow about beginning with the general topics or any other statement that directly saying " first one argues".

Overall, very nice and wish i could write like you.

keep writing sir, you can score high.

thanks
Sat

[saqibali]

Every sentence should be aligned with topic