Pls correct my essay - sports

[SaraZh]

Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think the success is much related to the mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Victory means everything in the world of professional sports players: money, status and reputation. So it is not surprising that athletes, coaches and team leaders are eager for the keys to win. Generally speaking, physical factors and mental attitude are both necessary for becoming a successful sportsperson.

Certainly, physical factors are essential for victory. Empirical studies show that top athletes usually have better sense of balance and remarkable coordination, which together facilitate complicated movements in sports. In the sports that require physical strength, such as dashes and marathon, the fittest and strongest individuals are advantageous, because more body muscle and more oxygen in their artery blood enable them speed and endurance. This is also true for team competitions such as soccer and basketball, thought cooperation among team members are equally important.

Nevertheless, in the highest level professional competitions such as the Olympic Games and FIFA World Cup, where most of the competitors are both talented and well-trained, mental attitude can significantly affect the outcome of the competition. A marathon runner must have great fortitude to complete such a long-distance race. Stress management help athletes stay calm and continue to compete in the game after making a mistake, instead of letting fear dominates their minds.

There is no single factor that promises ultimate success in sports; sometimes even luck counts. But some determinants have been identified. Medals tend to be granted to the individuals and teams that are both physically and mentally strong. They must have great talent in sports, outstanding physical strength, and incredible perseverance in year-after-year strict training and diet.

[devaraj]

Overall good essay. It look like 7 band essay. All the best.

[allen_zhang]

To me, it's an 8+ essay.
sophisticate words and topic is well-argued.

[vikasggn]

Looks Good Sara.

Not yet qualified to assess someone, but every word is making sense and it's a good read.

Regards
Vikas

[saqibali]

I supposed, its an older post.
Do you still need to correct this essay?