Please assess my IELTS TASK 2 GT

[devaraj]

[QUESTION:]
Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

[ANSWER:]
In this technological world, for better communication cell phones are inevitable in everyone's life. Some people reckon that cell phone should be used for personal purpose only while others think that it should be used for work. This essay intends to analyse both the views in detail.

On the one hand, cell phones are useful to keep in touch with long distant family members, relatives and friends. Though it has advantages, call from colleague from office at midnight for discussing office work interrupt night sleep of the person and his family. Moreover, if a person uses cell phone for office purpose like interacting with client and talk about office work with team member would cost more for mobile bill which he has to pay. This will result in both financial and mental stress for a person.

On the other hand, cell phones are used in office to do client interaction to get better sales. Mobiles are used to inform permission and leave to the higher authority in office. It is used to communicate from one branch to other branch employees of a company. Although, cell phones have advantages, sometimes family members or friends may interrupt the work through unwanted calls and messages. Furthermore, advertisement calls, donation related calls would affect the work of an employee and he cannot complete his work due to disturbance of the cell phone.

To conclude, by analyzing both the views it is clear that in both personal and office limited use of mobile phone is necessary. In my point of view, restricted use of mobile phones both at home and work would bring success, stress free life for a person. In addition, balance use of cell phone at home and in office is mandatory to cope up with personal activities and office

[Flick]

[QUESTION:]
Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

[ANSWER:]
In this technological world, for better communication cell phones are inevitable in everyone's life. Some people believe that cell phones should be used for personal use only while others think that they should be used for work. This essay intends to analyse both views in detail.

On the one hand, cell phones are useful to keep in touch with long distant family members, relatives and friends. Though it has advantages, call from colleague from office at midnight for discussing office work interrupt night sleep of the person and his family. (<--Reword to: "Though it has advantages, taking a work call in the middle of the night can interrupt not just a worker but his family, as well.") Moreover, if a person uses a cell phone for work purposes such as interacting with clients and talking about office work with team members would be very expensive. This will result in both financial and mental stress for a person.

On the other hand, cell phones are used in office for client interaction and to get better sales. Mobiles are used to inform permission and leave to the higher authority in office. (<--Delete this sentence - it doesn't add meaning to the essay.) Mobiles are used to communicate between branches of a company. Although cell phones have advantages, sometimes family members or friends may interrupt work through unwanted calls and messages. Furthermore, advertisement calls, donation related calls etc. would affect the work of an employee, making him unable to complete his work due to all the interruptions.

To conclude, by analyzing both views it is clear that in both personal and office life, limited use of mobile phones is necessary. In my point of view, restricted use of mobile phones both at home and work would bring about a successful, stress free life for a person. In addition, balanced use of cell phones at home and in the office is mandatory to cope up with personal activities and office work.

[saqibali]

Few sentences are out of topic.
Think about all alternative ways in which you can phrase your idea, before you write a sentence.This will improve quality of your sentences.

[QUESTION:]
Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

[ANSWER:]
In this technological world, for better communication cell phones are inevitable in everyone's life. Some people reckon that cell phone should be used for personal purpose only while others think that it should be used for work. This essay intends to analyse both the views in detail.

On the one hand, cell phones are useful to keep in touch with long distant family members, relatives and friends. Though it has advantages, call from colleague from office at midnight for discussing office work interrupt night sleep of the person and his family. Moreover, if a person uses cell phone for office purpose like interacting with client and talk about office work with team member would cost more for mobile bill which he has to pay. This will result in both financial and mental stress for a person.

On the other hand, cell phones are used in office to do client interaction to get better sales. Mobiles are used to inform permission and leave to the higher authority in office. It is used to communicate from one branch to other branch employees of a company. Although, cell phones have advantages, sometimes family members or friends may interrupt the work through unwanted calls and messages. Furthermore, advertisement calls, donation related calls would affect the work of an employee and he cannot complete his work due to disturbance of the cell phone.

To conclude, by analyzing both the views it is clear that in both personal and office limited use of mobile phone is necessary. In my point of view, restricted use of mobile phones both at home and work would bring success, stress free life for a person. In addition, balance use of cell phone at home and in office is mandatory to cope up with personal activities and office