Please help me assessing my writing task 1 for GT

[vikasggn]

Writing Task 1

You stayed at hotel last week. After you got home you realized that you had left your watch behind. Write a letter to the hotel manager, and explain what happened. Describe the watch and as them to help you find it.
Dear Sir

I am writing to inform you that me and my wife were staying in your hotel last week in room no. 401. While the stay was very comfortable, I realized last night only that during checkout, I had forgotten my very close to heart, Tissot watch in the room.

If I remember correctly, the watch was kept in the upper right drawer of the wardrobe. It was a heavy Tissot watch with a blue colour dial, model was X56 series and it was a make of year 2008. While me and my wife were packing the bags, probably we missed checking the drawer and could only realize after reaching home last night from the trip. The watch, although is not very costly, I do have number of emotions attached to it. It was a valuable gift from my father while I got admission in the university and had helped me clearing so many tough exams of my life.

I haven’t got any intimation from hotel as of now but will be highly grateful if you can check with your housekeeping staff or the lost and found section on the whereabouts of my watch. Please call me in case you are able to find this and I will ask some of my friend to collect it on my behalf. This surely would help me to live with some of the good memories of this wonderful trip and stay in your hotel.

Yours Truly
James

[Flick]

Writing Task 1

You stayed at hotel last week. After you got home you realized that you had left your watch behind. Write a letter to the hotel manager, and explain what happened. Describe the watch and as them to help you find it.

Dear Sir

I am writing to inform you that me and my wife were staying in your hotel last week in room no. 401. While the stay was very comfortable, I realized last night only that during checkout, I had forgotten my very close to heart, Tissot watch in the room. (<-- Reword to: Last week, my wife and I stayed in room 401. We thoroughly enjoyed our stay, but I realised today that I left my Tissot wrist watch in the room.)

If I remember correctly, the watch was kept in the upper right drawer of the wardrobe. It was a heavy Tissot X56 series watch with a blue facemade in 2008. While me and my wife were packing the bags, probably we missed checking the drawer and could only realize after reaching home last night from the trip. (<-- Remove this sentence - it does not add meaning to the letter.) The watch, although not very costly, does have great sentimental value. It was a gift from my father when I was accepted into university and has been a source of comfort throughout my life.

I would be highly grateful if you can check with your housekeeping staff or the lost and found section on the whereabouts of my watch. Please call me if you find it and I will ask some of my friend to collect it on my behalf. I'm very grateful for any help you can give in this matter.

Yours Truly
James

[vikasggn]

Thanks Flick. Great help indeed.

Regards
Vikas Arora