Paragraph writing - Women's jobs in goverment

[hoangnguyen7x]

I just exercise paragraph writing. Could anyone give me some feedback?

Most high level jobs are done by men. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women?

The first argument to support more women's roles in government is that national governance critically needs opinions from another side of the population. On one hand, women, half of the country citizens, are totally entitled to have their voice in political process. On the other hand, women, according to scientific evidences, own different approach to problems than their male counterparts and thus they can contribute actively to conflict solving debates. Men, as we know, are strong at logical thinking but not as acute and clever as women in diplomacy and relationship. The world has witnessed huge accomplishments led by the strong gender but also deadly destruction caused by male leaders such as the two world wars and lots of civil wars. It showed unfortunately that men tend to take violence as a solution. In contrast, women are innately peaceful, tolerant and compromising in dealing with others. This could be exemplified by great female leaders such as Prime Minister of Germany, Norway, and India.

Bruce.